Feeling Really Sad

[paulineward]

I know this might not be appropriate...and I understand that people might think it not the right place or time..etc..etc..but you all seem to be my friends, and I am ending my awful day talking to you all in sad circumstances. I have a rapport with a lot of you, and may seem 'away' for a bit...as after loosing my dear brother last year, got woken up this morning (Monday) to a call telling me of sudden death of my 48 year old younger sister. I regard you all as friends, and as everyone has gone home now, and left me alone...I felt I needed to tell you all. Why I don't know, but I feel we are friends, and if I am worst than I normally am..that is why. Hopefully coming on here will keep a little normality to things for me...hope you don't mind...and hope I've not infringed any rules or standards.
Kind regards to everyone...and thanks for being my friends!...Pauline xxxx

[JRB]

Dear Pauline - I can only agree with all that others have said already - two such sad blows in a short space of time and with the load you already bear - all I can say is keep talking to us here and we will be there for you. I lost my mother and my husband within 6 months of each other and my much loved sister was (and is) an great help, particularly with the children who were in their teens at the time. My thoughts are very much with you at this time.
God bless you
Jill

[paulineward]

Thanks Jill. How awful that must have been for you. When I posted forgot how soon into another year we were. It was in 2005 my brother died, (was still in 2006 mode in my head) still only a short time ago. Dad was only a short time before that.
I think with siblings it is more unexpected. Especially as my brother was only in his early 50's and my sister was 48.
With my brother, he had cancer, and his death was expected and forewarned of - still a shock though.
But with my sister it was completely different, she went to theatre for an emergency operation after collapsing with stomach cramps, they couldn't do anything and she died several hours later. We are still awaiting the report from the hospital.
Anyway..thanks for your kind posting, and I hope your family are doing the best they can in the circumstances.
Take care...love Pauline

[Ont-ice]

Hello Pauline
It�s past three in the morning your time and I am hoping you have been able to get some sleep.
You have been in my thoughts today and will remain there. Usually at night (our time) my hubby is the one who is on the computer to the Abers while I read. Last night he was at a meeting and I signed on to pass the time until he returned. That was when I saw your message. I�m not glad that I saw it, but glad that it was me and not him as he doesn�t type too much and is often at a loss for words when needed.
When I told him your news, he was quite upset. Like me, he has his favourite Abers and you are one of the ones at the top of the list with both of us. We have talked about you today and wondered how you were managing. I know from what I have read that you are strong and your strength will surely carry you though this terrible loss.
What a tremendous outpouring of support you have received from your friends on this site. We all care so much for you.
Take care of yourself.
Joanna

[paulineward]

Thanks so much Joanna for your posting. Please also send my regards to your husband, and thank him for his concern.
Yes I was asleep when you posted!
The support, as you say, has been tremendous and I must say, has moved me greatly. To get messages from you and others so near and so far away has been incredible. The magic of technology...it has given me friends I would never have had, from parts of the world I probably will never see, and who have become part of my life!
Who would have thought that just searching for answers to questions could have brought such a lovely group of people together.

The family are all still in a state of shock I think, and the numbness so well described by other ABers is definitely the case.

It's been so good to come on here and chat, and I will always be so grateful to you all.

Thanks again for your words of support and concern.

Thanks to each and every one of you.

Kind regards
Love Pauline xx

[jetski129]

Hi Pauline,please keep on visiting,we are here for you.I'm sure we are all pleased to help in any way we can.
Graham

[Ternigapp]

Hello Pauline, I saw your message yesterday and wanted to say something then, but as the tears were flowing and I'm not very good with words at the best of times I thought I'd leave it until today.
What a tragic start to the New Year. My heartfelt condolences go out to you and please try and find some "me" time for yourself over the next few weeks.
Take care, Teresa & Nigel

[JoolsTwo]

Hi Pauline, Just wanted to say I'm still thinking of you. Jools xx

[sarumite]

Pauline, when I �wrote� to you yesterday I was aware of the absolute devastation you must be experiencing following the sudden loss of your sister, but words really are so inadequate at a time like this.

However, having now read the numerous messages of support and condolence from your many good friends on AB, I truly hope it will provide you with some comfort, and help you to get through the days ahead, knowing that we are all thinking of you.

I am not ashamed to admit that my eyes were brimming with tears whist working at home this morning, as I imagined the mental pain that you must now be suffering.

During the past few months, since joining answerbank, I can recall much of your amusing repartee with myself and other ABers, but the one thing that really sticks firmly in my mind is the absolute generosity you afford to all of us. You are always willing to give support and the benefit of the doubt if faced with others imperfections.

A short while ago a good friend of mine lost her husband at a relatively young age, and I wrote to her to say that he was probably the �most genuine� person that I had ever had the privilege to meet.

I can truly say that you are probably the most genuine people that I have never met!

I know you will continue to be strong for those around you, especially your daughters, but when you need support yourself, although it may only be �in writing�, we will ALWAYS be here for you on answerbank.

God bless you
Ivor ... (aka sarumite) xxx

[sarumite]

... so sorry for mistake in above posting, the penultimate paragraph should read :-

"I can truly say that you are probably the most genuine person that I have never met !"

[Magyar]

Sorry to hear of your sad news Pauline.

Haven't been able to browse AB for a few days because of computer problems, and only found out about your loss after reading a recent Earthakitten posting and had to browse to see what she was referring to. There is nothing more I can add to the messages of support and prayer posted by many many other AB'ers.

I can remember some late night / early morning repartee with you during the World Cup and hope that we can repeat this again in the future.

I hope at times like this that you remember the happy times you spent together as a family, and remember that we at AB are an extension of that family.

Take care Pauline, and my prayers go with you.

John

[Christiana]

Hello Pauline, I, too, have only just discovered about your sad loss, having read the Eathakitten posting. Just want to add my sentiments to all the others - I'm thinking of you and praying for you, even as I type. The ABers are such a lovely bunch and I'm sure I'd want to do just the same as you in your circumstances. When you feel able to, tell us about the kind of person you sister was - I lost my husband when my three sons were very young and one of the hardest parts was that other people avoided talking about him, so if you want to, please share happy memories with us.
Hang on in there, won't you. We're all rooting for you,

Jackie

[patchett]

Still thinking about you Pauline and hope that you keep posting and talking to us all.I don't know any of the ABers but so many of the names are like old friends after only a few months on this site.I read the Footsteps poem at my Grand daughter's wedding and it bought the tears to my eyes again when I read it on here.Hang in there Pauline
Bless you. Joan

[Ont-ice]

It is morning where you are, but very early, just before 4:am.
Because you are asleep you aren't aware that somewhere in another part of the world someone is thinking of you and hoping your sleep is peaceful. May you draw strength from your rest.
Good Night, Pauline

[seekeerz]

Dear Pauline, I'm very glad to see that AB ed has seen fit to leave your thread, so that we can keep coming back to let you know we're still with you, thinking about you and trying to help you through these sad events - I was horrified to read the circumstances of your sister's death - not knowing the cause makes it all so much worse and I hope you have some answers very quickly.

I can only second O-ice's message - that while you are sleeping, someone, somewhere else in the world is thinking of you and sending you loving thoughts - Steff xxx

[seekeerz]

Whoops, sorry about that, Ont-ice - cheers S

[Pebbles]

So very sorry to hear of your loss Pauline.

Many of your friends here have beautifuly expressed their sympathies and their words say exactly what I want to say', so all I can add is that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Sara
x

[paulineward]

To say thanks to you all really seems so inadequate, the responses and messages of support have been so moving, and have given me so much comfort.
Funny enough Ont-ice..I was still tossing and turning at that time, but how reassuring to know I was being thought about and prayed for.

I am sure that I don't merit the lovely things people have been saying about me, like Sarumite - (indeed a soulmate) and others, but believe me..I hold you all in high regard. Some of you have become household names here. You have all displayed a side to Human Nature I am gratified and believe still exists, and here it is in all it's glory on our AB site.

I hope people haven't been too upset remembering their own sad times, but thanks so much for sharing your experiences with us all. The poems and words of comfort have been so moving. Evsajo..what was read at Geoff's funeral was beautiful.

The family seem to be getting more traumatised as the days go by, and the reality is setting in.
I am so grateful to be able to pop on her and chat with you all, it is helping me tremendously.

Wish I could find better words to express my gratitude,(where is the eloquence of Crofter when you need it).. but believe me, you have all been wonderful.
You all keeping me going, is helping me keep my family going.

Much love to you all..Pauline xx

[JoolsTwo]

We are still here for you Pauline - I don't have the eloquence with words some on here have - But your still in my thoughts and prayers. Hang on in there FREIND. Jools xx

[Jenny18]

Dear Pauline

I haven't chatted with you before on this site but my heart goes out to you in this sad and stressful time. I have been through it with my parents at an early age and it is true time does help and now I can remember the happy times without crying a storm. They would want you to remember them with love and joy. But do remember to take time for yourself during this period and let your friends help.

With Love Jenny

[Christiana]

Just off to bed and wanted to know you're still in my thoughts and prayers. Hope you sleep better tonight.
Love to you and the children

Jackie