Mad over fifties club

[ladyalex]

The club is now open.


Members are advised that, as there are no committee members available tonight, there will be no raffle.

[crazycathy2]

atsgran you been frisking the rugby players for 30 mins how come you have only managed to let 2 in what you doing?

bensmum never mind the rugby players will tell you.

Come on I 'll read the list of raffle prizes

1. Magnifying Glass
2 Scissors - but don't tell ladyalex
3. Tonic Wine
4. 6 metres of knicker elastic
5. Tin of Horlicks
6. rain mac and hat
7.nearly new set of dentures - only used twice
8.a box which had something in it but someone has pinched it
9.a box of assorted corn plasters

and wait for it the

star prize

a blue rinse at salon gigis - only valid on OAP day though

[SLINKYKATE]

mama phone the chippie van to come,cause you fancy the fish face,sorry i meant fryer

[crazycathy2]

smouse we're not having a tombola on account of what happened last time.

You can't keep the rugby player for a week it isn't fair

[Prudentia]

NHS on line gives you influence intravenously, just slip any labour MP 4.21p and they are yours for the asking, gordon brown takes an extra 7 pence.

[bensmum]

Where is everyone???
Ooops ... silly me, had the rain hat on back to front. Can I win the Horlicks, I am very partial to a cup of Horlicks

[crazycathy2]

well did you buy a ticket bensmum?

No? Well never mind then as consolation for you forgetting to buy a ticket you can win the horlicks

[atsgran]

But I promise to look after them, and if I remember what I've done with them by next week I'll bring them back, if not then when I do find them I'll return them, and the other 13 will still be there for anyone who wants them, 2's not 2 much 2 ask for surely

[Diane1954]

what do you want a rugby player for? I can't remember.Still want to know if i can be scrapped sorry have scraps

[atsgran]

Think I'm going somewhere but can someone phone 999 for me, 2 big beefy men are following me shh don't let them know I'm on to them, quick please

[Mamyalynne]

999 am on thje case

[crazycathy2]

mamyalynne you supposed to be looking after the drinks can you ask the nice man at the 999 if he can bring us back some back some fish and chips cos Slinkey hasn't got them yet

[Jan1957]

Quick everyone outside. Crazycathy and bensmum are fighting over the rugby players.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbtyRwBmH18

[Mamyalynne]

shes got my knitting bag she could have her eye out

[atsgran]

Hope the fish and chips aren't in that bag, they'll be cold by the time she gets back into the club

[crazycathy2]

well at least that's over and me and bensmum have a rugby player each now

and the fish and chips are all splattered everywhere

who wanted scrapps earlier?? Plenty now

Shush Matron is coming hide quick she'll lock us up again

[atsgran]

I'm ok, I found a bag that wasn't burst, the rest of you can rummage for yours mmmm

[SLINKYKATE]

i need to go home the dog wants to take me out

[crazycathy2]

come on we've got to hide the rugby players cos Maron won't let us keep them - she will just give us double dose of that yellow stuff

What happened to those men we locked in the cellar the other week? Did we let them out? Or are they still there?

I think they migth have pinched mama's knitting bag I really do

and where are all the zimmer frames gone and the biscuit tin is empty

[atsgran]

Slinky, can I walk with you incase those men are waiting for me, I promised hubby I wouldn't be late this week, didn't get home till wednesday last week, see you all next week goodnight

[bensmum]

As long as my rugby player has an arse on him like Brian O'Driscoll!!