To invite partners...or not?

[Chasingcars]

We are finalising our guest names for our forthcoming wedding and we have a small predicament over some work guests.
I have some close friends at work who I would like to join us for the whole wedding day along with their partners. However if I only invite some colleagues to the day and only some to the evening, that may offend some people possibly.
We were then thinking of inviting work colleagues to the evening only part of the reception, but there is one lady who is the partner of one colleague who nobody gets on with. If i invite everyone with partners excluding this one partner, it would like obvious that hes the only one 'not allowed' to bring his partner and so may cause offense. If we invited our work colleagues but to them only, without partners would that look odd? Im not sure how else we get around not inviting this one lady! I was thinking of speaking to them in advance of invites being sent to explain due to number restraints invites will be to them only exc partners so there is no confusion. Anyone else been in this situation?

[ummmm]

No but just invite her. She'll have her partner with her and so will everyone else.

[coccinelle]

It's not good etiquette to not invite partners to weddings. There's always the off chance that either she'll decline the invitation anyway or your colleague will. As to inviting them to the reception or night do, I think if there's a couple of colleagues you get on with more than others and go out socially with, this wouldn't surprise the others if these were invited to the reception and they were invited to the night do. Hope everything works out.

[madmaggot]

I wanted to invite 2 of my directors to our wedding and leave out the one that I didn't really get on with but after a bit of thought I decided to invite all 3 of them (for the reasons you set out above). It worked out ok and we actually got on a lot better at work, afterwards.

[pingping]

i'd just invite them all (minus partners) to the evening reception. I did this for my wedding and had no problems of people complaining their other halves weren't invited. Go by how you would feel if you were invited to a work colleague's wedding. Would you expect your other half to be invited?

[Chasingcars]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. My gut instict was to simply invite colleagues only to the evening. I dont really socialise with any of them outside of work so there isnt really anyone I would invite over anyone else.
As i need to email them all to ask for their addresses for when we send out invites, should i 'pre-warn' them that its only an 'evening' only invite and its excluding partner? I had thought about speaking to them all first so when they got the invites they were not surprised it was only to them and just for the evening. A couple of them mentioned in passing a few months ago they were ''looking forward to the wedding'',implying they were coming to the day!! but if i speak to them first, i feel like im almost apologising for somehting which i shouldnt really be apologising for anyway!!

[bushbaby_de]

If they are a group of work colleagues who all know each other and get on well then you can just invite them, without partners, to the evening part. However if they are colleagues from disparate teams/departments who do not socialise together you should invite partners as well.... you wouldn't want to go somewhere on your own where you didn't really know anyone else, would you?

[Chasingcars]

All are from the same two departments and all of them know each other very well so dont think anyone would feel they on their own, so to speak.
I sent them all a quick email last night to get all their addresses as invites will be coming out soon.
I ddint specifically mention the evening only/ no partners thing yet, wondering if i should have as one of the guys greeted me this morning with 'ah thats so sweet, cant imagine why you would want us lot there' implying he thinks hes coming to the day! Should i now make them aware it is evening only before they get the invite or just leave it and hope they read the invit properly!!??

[LoftyLottie]

I would just invite those colleagues who are close friends, together with their partners, for the whole wedding day and not invite any other works colleagues to any part of your celebrations. There is no need in my opinion. However, if you do invite them to the reception then I think you should include their partners. The fact that one person doesn't get on with anybody shouldn't make a difference.

I bet there are loads of weddings where there are invited people, including relatives, that nobody likes. Is this lady likely to be disruptive or stop others enjoying themselves. Can she not just be ignored.

[Chasingcars]

The person is question I dont like either. Shes loud, attention seaking and always wants a drama and wouldnt put it past her to have some 'drama' on my day too. Plus, for the cost, I also think why spend money onsomeone who i dont even like!?!

[Chasingcars]

Well, after much too-ing and fro-ing, we decided that due to increasing numbers and to make it fair on everyone, we would invote work colleagues but only to the evening reception, and not include partners.
One of the girls came up to me to acknowledge receipt of the invitation today but told me there was a problem as she also had ''her bob'' and he wasnt on the invite. I politley said that due to number restrictions, we have had to limit work colleagues to colleagues only, ie no partners, and said that everyone in the office was the same. She then looked at me like she couldnt possibly go anywhere without 'her bob' and just smiled. At that point i felt like sticking the invite somewehere! Silly really as its got be wound up - wish i hadnt even bothered inviting her now!