Can long distance work?

[Lov3shy]

I've known a rather special guy for over a month now (coming up to two months) and, since the beginning, there seemed to be something special, which was confirmed when he told me that he's a transman the next day (which I accept and respect him for). We have grown closer ever since and I believe I have fallen for him and I know that it's the same for him.
We have yet to meet in a few weeks but we speak daily and we Skype a few times a week typically.

Although it may be too early to ask (despite my strong feelings for him), does long distance actually work? My concerns are of money and time as he lives about 117 miles from me, although we're still in the same region. I spoke to him about it yesterday and he said that he understands if we can't do long distance but it's clear that he wants it to happen, thankfully without being pushy. As for time, we both have education and exams to get on with.

I like being able to meet people and actually show my love physically (cuddles and kisses) but it depends how often we can meet. He's not sure himself how often we can meet, neither am I, but at least once a month is likely good for me (although I have a feeling I would be missing him, especially when I meet him for the first time soon). We both want to make it work but I'm just concerned about whether it can work or not, my friends are telling me different things that it never works and some say that it can work (some being in successful long distance relationships, some saying that it all failed).

What do I do? What do you recommend?
Thanks in advance.

[vulcan]

It all depends how strong your feelings are for each other. We met on holiday and after returning home we were separated by 700 miles and because we both worked, only saw each other at Easter, summer holiday and Christmas.
This continued for three years before we married, so it can work out.

[sara3]

is once a month enough for both of you? it's going to be more of a "virtual" relationship, which it doesn't sound like you want.

that doesn't mean it won't work, it might if it suits you both..

[Count-A-Strong]

What's a transman?

[bednobs]

trans gender? transexual?

[China Doll]

I'd recomment you occupying the same 3ft of space before you start making plans.

[Lov3shy]

A transman is a girl who believes that they are a guy (it goes more deeply than that but, in terms of this person, he believes he has a male brain but was born in a female body, ultimately being uncomfortable with it).

I agree, it does sound like a virtual relationship but I'm going to see how I feel after I meet him.

[boxtops]

It worked for me - my OH lived hundreds of miles away when we first met, we used to spend long weekends together once a month. You have to trust each other, and make the most of your time together when you CAN meet.

[Lov3shy]

I completely agree, boxtops, I was thinking of just that. He definitely seems to trust me but, of course, I'm not going into anything yet. I spoke to him today about it and he agrees with my opinion of waiting until we meet to make a real decision so that's good.

[ummmm]

Love3shy - Not that it makes a difference, but, are you into boys or girls?

[boxtops]

u mmy ... http://www.theanswerb...l/Question989124.html

[Lov3shy]

As the link shows, I am gay. It does make me think with him being a transman but I love him for who he is, not what he has in his underwear.

[ummmm]

Thanks Boxy but now I'm even more confused.

[joeluke]

'It does make me think with him being a transman but I love him for who he is, not what he has in his underwear'

Him?

[Lov3shy]

Yes, he refers to himself as a 'him' and I show respect by using the pronoun that he prefers.

[Lov3shy]

As a 'he' rather (he may biologically be a girl but he identifies as a he, therefore I refer to him as a 'he').

[boxtops]

well, what's happened in the last week?

[Lov3shy]

Nothing new, we have spoken more about it and his friends definitely plan on getting drunk but he doesn't want to get drunk and neither do I, so that's definitely good. It's only a few weeks before I can meet him, I'm quite excited about it but I don't want to get my expectations up too much, that's my main concern right now.