How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb.
Border Collie: Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp.
Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he's finished rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Rottweiler: Go ahead! Make me!
Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants...
Labrador: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.
Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
Hound Dog; ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Chihuahua: Yo quiero taco bulb.
Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got a hangover.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there...
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
Old English Sheepdog: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb.