The 42 degrees number comes from the properties of water and the refraction of light through it. I can't say I remember the derivation, but there's a bit of trigonometry involved plus Snell's Law of refraction, so it's a fixed angle for all rainbows.
I think the thing about the diameter is that it's perceived, rather than actual. In one sense it can be right next to your face, in another it can be miles away, but any "physical" diameter is basically an illusion. The pattern is caused by all the rain you see on a cone with angle 42 degrees, rather than rain that is some particular distance away from you, and the "endpoints" will just be the last pieces of land that obscure what would be the rest of the circle. Of course, using trig, you could calculate the diameter of the rainbow you see, but it will be different for every observer.