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Mince Pie Rules!
Mince Pie Rules..
1. If you eat a mince pie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first mince pie is the test and thus calorie free.
2. If you drink a diet Coke after eating your second mince pie, it also has no calories because the diet Coke cancels out the mince pie calories.
3. If a friend comes round while you're making your mince pies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first mince pie is calories free, (rule #1) yours is also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes your mince pie calorie free.
4. Any mince pie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
5. Any calories consumed during the icing of your mince pies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess icing from a knife without cutting your tongue.
6. Mince pies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
7. Any mince pies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING!
8 . Any mince pies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because mince pies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It's a rule!
So, go out and enjoy those Christmas mince pies we only get them this time of year!
Merry Christmas & Happy New year .
Jem
1. If you eat a mince pie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first mince pie is the test and thus calorie free.
2. If you drink a diet Coke after eating your second mince pie, it also has no calories because the diet Coke cancels out the mince pie calories.
3. If a friend comes round while you're making your mince pies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first mince pie is calories free, (rule #1) yours is also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes your mince pie calorie free.
4. Any mince pie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
5. Any calories consumed during the icing of your mince pies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess icing from a knife without cutting your tongue.
6. Mince pies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
7. Any mince pies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING!
8 . Any mince pies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because mince pies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It's a rule!
So, go out and enjoy those Christmas mince pies we only get them this time of year!
Merry Christmas & Happy New year .
Jem
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