Have you ever done this sort of thing in a shop ?

[LochNessMonster]

When I go to shops sometimes I tease the assistant like below.

Matalan - "Would sir like to keep the clothes hanger" - "Is it cheaper if I don't take them ?"

Clarkes shoes - "My feet turn up at the front and I was wondering if you sold Dutch clogs ?"

Subway - "Would sir like it 6 inch or 12 inch" - 12 inch please as I don't like to bend it for anyone? (Have had Local shop in stiches with that one, new female assistant)

[joggerjayne]

he he

[sinderella]

at the supermarket they always ask would i like bag
i always say
"mmmmm free bags or buy some ,let me think about that!"
out come the free bags every time

[buddylab]

OK if you don't live in Wales where we have to pay 5p for each normal plastic carrier bag!

[boxtops]

I bet the assistants groan, lochy - I bet they hear that sort of drollery far more often that you'd realise...

[erin-x]

I was just going to say the same as Boxy. You do tend to hear the same jokes over and over again. I would always give a wee chuckle though, it would be rude not to! :-)

[bigbadmarty]

When the assistant says " Sorry about your wait "
I often reply " I know - I must start the diet soon ! "

[weecalf]

Always try to keep a straight face when on purpose mispronounce everyday articles and watch as the assistants try not to laugh.The one that nearly always gets them with is How much is the tom a toes today .

[heathfield]

"Can I help you, sir?"
"Yes! Lend me a fiver!"

[4getmenot]

when buying some tampax recently the lady said 'would you like the receipt?' so I said 'Can I bring them back if they dont fit?'

[B00]

Christ, glad I don't get any of you lot at my till. You'd just get The Look and that'll hopefully send you out the door quickly. Can't be doin' with customers who think they're funny, they usually aren't!

[missmuppet]

when i get approached in the supermarket car park by the people wanting to wash your car i say "you're kidding - it's only the mud that keeps it together - if you clean it, it'll fall apart". As most of these people are foreign i get the feeling they think i'm being serious - either that or my car is really looking bad at the moment!

[Canary42]

My favourite :-

Assistant: Would you like the extended 2-year warranty ?

Me: Oh so you're selling me a product which won't last 2 years. In that case cancel the sale, goodbye.

[sherrardk]

"would you like some bags", "no, it's ok, I'll just carry a weeks worth of shopping home in my pockets".

[4getmenot]

You'd love us in your shop B00

[B00]

"would you like some bags", "no, it's ok, I'll just carry a weeks worth of shopping home in my pockets".

Because supplying your own bags is out of the question, because....?

[MarkRae]

"What'll you take off for cash?"
"Everything but me earrings."

[B00]

Please tell me you don't attempt the " funnies" with the checkout staff as well Mark?

Dear God!

Why can't you all just get your shopping, quietly and meekly and depart the store ASAP? Stop engaging us, the staff, in conversations- we don't like you!

[rowanwitch]

You go to some strange shops MarkRae...

[missmuppet]

Went to Argos on Boxing day to buy my mum a TV. The guy at the till asked me if i wanted extended 3 year warranty - i said no i'm hoping she'll be dead by then! He was taken aback but the lady behind me said "i've got a mother like that too!" Hahaha - who says you have to actually like your mother?