What You Find In Men's Trousers.

[gness]

A post in S&C brought back a childhood memory. Leaving Mass with my mother...I was about 7 or 8...she noticed the cross on her Rosary Beads was missing. We searched our pew but it wasn't to be found.
Seeing the man who had been beside her chatting and smoking with a group men Mum had an idea and made me go to ask him if there was a little crucifix in the turn ups of his trousers. I didn't want to but a clip around the ear sent me on my way to ask him.
Sir...I whispered...is there a crucifix in the turn up of your trousers? WHAT?...he shouted.
I repeated my question so he looked and there was the crucifix.

Jaysus..but the child is a witch....was his response holding the crucifix aloft...she's bringing crucifixes from our clothing!

[rowanwitch]

Well he got that right,

[pat2604]

Ha ha, and I bet your heading catches many eyes on here!!

[gness]

Do you know, Rowan....I've often thought that....especially since the episode with the ex husbands hernia and the wax and pins.... ;-)

[gness]

Oh I dare say, Lottie! :-)

[rowanwitch]

Lucky Dave isn't older or she might have to raise the dead.....

[Tilly2]

There was a witch
The witch had an itch
The itch was so itchy it
Gave her a twitch.

Another witch
Admired the twitch
So she started twitching
Though she had no itch.

Now both of them twitch
So it's hard to tell which
Witch has the itch and
Which witch has the twitch.

[gness]

I'd say more, Rowan...but he may read this later when he's not watching noisy cars.

Hi, Tilly.... so which witch are you?

[Tilly2]

The one with the twitch, Gness.

[gness]

Now you know that twitchy witches are the most dangerous, Tilly!

[Canary42]

A turn up for the books ;-)

[Tilly2]

I'll turn my twitch switch on Gness and see what happens.

[DTCwordfan]

I'm not surprised that he was cross. Bet he had a glass of the Irish Holy Spirit later....

[gness]

Book of spells, Canary?

[DTCwordfan]

A lady living in Sneem approaches her local priest and shyly tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots but, they only know how to say one thing... they keep saying 'Hi, we’re hot... do you want to f*** us*?'"

"That's terrible!" says the priest. "But, I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house tomorrow. I will put them with my two male talking parrots... to whom I've taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible filth, and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship the good Lord."

So the next day, the Sneem lady brings her two female parrots to the priest's house. The priest's two male parrots are holding Gness's family rosary beads and praying in their cage.

The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking Parrots, and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're hot. Do you want to f*** us?”

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams, "Put the bible away you ***, our prayers have been answered!"

[gness]

Oh well. :-(

[Buenchico]

In response to the title of your thread ("What You Find In Men's Trousers"), I'm reminded of what I often find in mine:
https://ibb.co/zsYpLhF

;-)

[Patsy33]

^^^
Lol!

[gness]

Oh Lord, Chris! Hope you don’t hoick them up at speed. :-)

[tonyav]

Keep that cat out of clawing distance, Chris ;-)

[Arksided]

I was with you until the crucifix bit, then I got scared.