Food & Drink0 min ago
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My mate said to me: "Do you like wearing that hi vis jacket all the time?"
I said: "I wouldn’t be seen without it !!"
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If my name was David and I had a boy, I would have to name him Harley.
That way he could introduce himself, I'm Harley, David's son.
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I went to a fancy dress party dressed as an alarm clock.
I left early... People kept winding me up!
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I was a Child of the 60s,
My memories are of Bands like The Tremeloes and the Dave Clark Five are Sketchy, but I do Remember Bits And Pieces.
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"How is your new job at the factory?” one guy asked another.
“I’m not going back there.”
"Why not?”
“For many reasons,” he answered. “The sloppiness, the shoddy workmanship, the awful language – they just wouldn’t put up with me."
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Brilliant News.
I entered the best Sun Tan competition at the Paris Olympics Today and I've only gone and got a Bronze..!
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My first day on a fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
They're kidding obviously.
I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
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I was always very shy as a young man, my friend advised carrying a pebble in my pocket and squeezing it whenever the shyness took me.
Did it work?
Yes, I felt a little boulder.
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