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What's your most embarrasing moment
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I'm feeling depressed at the mo, please cheer me up.
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My most embarrassing moment has to be the time I went to the family planning clinic to get my three monthly injection. Just as I was bent over the gurney with my trousers and knickers around my knees, the waiting room door opened and in walked a nurse, who as she stood in the open doorway exclaimed, "My, what a lovely big bottom"! I scurried out pretty quickly afterwards, I can tell you!!
I was going down the escalator in a well known store and decided in my wisdom to take my coat off. However I was wired up to my ipod with the actual machine in the coat pocket and so as I took the coat off the wire fell away from my neck and onto the steps. In trying to retrieve it I fell over and landed on my backside at the bottom. I didn't hurt myself but two assistants came rushing over to help me up. As if this were not indignity enough we then discovered that the ipod wire was now caught irretrievably between the escalator steps. The assistants had to fetch two security guards, one of whom stood at the top of the escalator to stop anyone stepping onto it whilst the other used a key to stop it and start it going in the opposite direction in order to extract the wire. Whilst this was going on I stood by like an idiot while all the customers watched me. I then had to walk round and do my shopping in the knowledge that practically everyone in the store had seen what happened to me - and with the red hair I'm fairly distinctive. My only saving grace was that this happened on a weekday morning when the store was relatively quiet and not a busy Saturday afternoon.
I hope this cheers you up!
The rock band I was in was doing a New Year gig, and we thought it would be a laugh if we did the second set in drag. My wife was out when I was getting ready, and knew nothing of the plan when she walked in and found me in her suspender belt and stockings.
To this day, I think she suspects that I only persuaded the band to go on in drag AFTER she found me, to cover my embarassment.
To this day, I think she suspects that I only persuaded the band to go on in drag AFTER she found me, to cover my embarassment.
Last summer my daughter dragged me onto a scary funfair ride. This ride swung from side to side then hung upside down for ages, before repeating the whole sequence again. As I was climbing off with wobbly legs and a green face, I saw a group of teenagers from the school where I work. They began clapping & cheering so I tried to look cool and unconcerned. One of them came over to me and whispered "MISS, DID YOU KNOW THAT EVERYTIME YOU WERE UPSIDE DOWN YOUR BOOBS FELL OUT?"
Oh the shame!
I'll give you one, far from my worst..1987 - 24 years old, on my first long-haul flight. I was handed a pair of earphones that go under your chin - stethoscope stylee. I tried to put them on over the top of my head. Struggled for a good five minutes to balance them before looking across the aisle - what a neep.
Mine was at primary school. During morning assembly we use to file into the hall and stand in rows. When the headmaster, who was on the stage in front of us, stood up we had to all sit down and stop talking.
One day we were all in place � the Head stood up and everyone sat down except the boy in front of me who was so busy talking he hadn�t noticed � I grabbed his trousers and gave them a tug � unfortunately his elastic waistband did him no favours and his lovely bum was exposed to the whole school � I was mortified.
�He went on to be a choir boy at Wells Cathedral I believe.
Mine has to be when I went shopping with my daughter who was about 18 at the time. We went into the changing rooms (separate cubicles but no tops to them) the item I was trying on was too big so she went to get me a smaller size when she came back and knocked the door I asked her what the password was. She ver replied just knocked again, I repeated whats the password and she just said open the door Mum, I said no not until you give me the password, still no reply so she tried again and I still wouldn't let her in until she said the password. As I opened the door I could see a long queue of people waiting to go into the changing cubicles, a few with smiles but mostly looking at me as if I was crazy (obviously I am) we just fell about laughing. I changed back into my clothes and ran out of the store still giggling hysterically. She has only gone shopping with me a few times since (she is now 28) and I do not understand why.
Mine has got to be in my final year of secondary school we all trooped into the big sports hall to have our end of year photo, you know the ones where your all in orderly lines at various heights tallest at the back etc, now being quite tall i was teo rows from the very top, quite high up. I suddenly came over all queasy and said to my friend next to me i think im going to be sick, the whole row in front spun round and said you better not, but instead i fainted and fell on then all and had to be carried down by the p.e teachers ( who arent bad looking which was a bonus! ) So there were two versions of the photo one with me at the top looking pale and queasy and one of me at the bottom tower of the people who were sat down, again looking queasy!
I have two for you, and I still cringe when I think of them...
The first happened when I was in fifth (last) year at school. Our school yard was split in two by a path, and being the oldest, us lads commandeered the furthest yard to play football at dinnertimes. One day, the other yard was being re-tarmaced, so the rest of the kids were just milling about around the outskirts. Due to a miskick, our ball was rolling towards the out-of-bounds area and I thought I'd be a hero and run after it. Reaching top speed I attempted to kick the ball back into play and tripped, falling flat out into the black stuff!
I had to stand up in front of everyone to the sound of their laughter and walk straight out of school covered in horrible, warm, stinky bitumen, and still had half a mile to walk home!
My second happened on a coach to Spain in 1994.
Not long into the journey, I really needed a number two, and when I got into the coach's toilet I was concerned to find there was no lock on the door. As I sat down to do my business, I realised that if I sat right on the edge of the bowl and stretched as far as I could I would be able to stop the door from opening by pressing against it. I was just approaching splashdown, when suddenly... the door opened outwards and a startled little girl just stood there looking at me... as did the people sat at the top of the stairs behind her!!! After what seemed like ten seconds I hissed "shut the door quick" at which point she rushed back up the little stairway leaving the door open!
I sat there for about 5 minutes trying to compose myself and then had to walk back down the coach, by which time my wife and our friends already knew about it.
I had to complete the journey (about another 20 hours) knowing that everybody on the coach knew what had happened. And my face is now burning thinking about it!
Mine has to be on the way home from work one night. It was after England had just won a rugby match (one of the world cup matches) I was on a platform of the underground, where a large group of p****d bloke rugby fans were. They were all off their faces and being really loud. One of them saw me and suddenly got down on one knee & started singing the 'I love you baby!' song. Soon after, the rest of the group joined in!! There was me, standing on my own, bright red, while 20 drunk rugby fans were on their knees singing to me!! Every person in that station was looking at me and laughing, i was soooo embarrassed! And then had to get on the same tube with them!!
Mine was when I was in a posh department store in France - there were these floorlength windows which were so clean, I thought they were an open door leading outside. Of course I walked flat bang into them and made a huge noise, attracting the attention of all the customers + lots of giggles. I soon realised the door was actually on the other side of the floor, so had to walk back through them all - and if that wasn't enough, my bag brushed a hanger off the rail as I was leaving, making another loud noise!
I was standing at the bar waiting to get served, there was an attractive woman stood next to me and theres a bowl of pistachio nuts on the bar which I start tucking into, she finishes gettin served and walks off with the nuts....... which she'd just paid for...I thought they were the free ones they sometimes stick on the bar......she never said a word, I could have died !
