Do friends just randomly walk out your life??

[spotsandstripes]

Is this a natural part of growing up???? I have friends, had friends, who just all of a sudden, delete me out of their lives. We'll talk one day, while later I realise they have deleted me from their facebook. This has happened to me, various times now. Is it me? Its happened so many times, with different people, im questioning myself as not only a friend but a person. A girl I was friends with since I was a little girl walked away, uni friends, a friend from school. I ask, what makes someone a likeable person? Because maybe, I'm not a nice person. Maybe its not them, its not a part of growing up, but its me. Maybe im a rubbish person. I dont know. all i do know is this keeps happening and there comes a point where you got to sit back and question why. How can I keep friends. To my knowledge I havent done a thing to hurt them, back stab them or go with their men so Im confused and need to know, what makes you a likeable person?

[4getmenot]

sometimes a person who always questions themself and tries too hard at being a friend can push people away. The type that wont let their friend be friends with anyone else. And also the people that must see you every week and if they dont then they get paranoid and say they must have done something wrong. My closest friends know I am busy and I know they are busy ith their own lives. Sometimes we can go weeks without seeing eachother but we all know when we need eachother in times or crisis we are there for eachother. Everynow and then text your friends or call them just for a natter not just when you need them for something. I love it when I get a random knock at the door and its a friend that popped round for a cuppa.

[boxtops]

Like 4get, I don't see people for weeks on end, or don't text or phone for months, but they are still my friends. It might be them, not you - just accept that they have gone elsewhere, and don't fret about it. People do move on - people I have been very close to at different times just move on, move out. You have years to go - don't keep self-analysing. You need to ike yourself before you can be a good friend to someone else - please stop wondering where you're going wrong, you just haven't met the right friends yet. Perhaps they weren't really friends after all, just acquaintances...

[4getmenot]

true friends will stick around. Dont worry about the rest x

[Hopkirk]

Take a tip from me - don't 'do' Facebook.

That way you don't have such worries.

[cathfromsaron]

yes, you do change some acquaintances through life! and gain new friends as you age! but you seem to be anxious, so maybe you project a neediness!

try to act cooler and become more comfortable in social situations!

[MustangLady]

There's no magic solution to this. You just got to be who you are and be the best you can be, try to be there for your friends but be sure to have friends that are there for you too (can't all be one-sided). The ones that stay with you and stay loyal are worth keeping, the others you just 'out-grow' if you haven't actually done anything to lose them. Don't put yourself down and keep positive, there are more friends out there to be made, the world is a big place....
I have great friends now, friends i love dearly... some i have had for 20+ years. We're always there for each other and make point of seeing/speaking to each other at least once week. I even have a few friends i might not speak to for a few weeks or even months but could pick up the phone or arrange to meet and it's like we've never been apart.

Have you ever asked these ex-friends why they walked away, or is it that the contact just dwindled off, it takes two to be a friend... don't give up. Its a big world out there and there's plenty more friends to be had :)

[Purple_Popple]

Dont worry yourself over all this. Dont rely on Facebook so much as no way is it a true valuation of how good a person you are just based on the hundreds of 'friends' you have. Facebook can be cruel, but take it all with a pinch of salt, sometimes FB deletes friends for you! It's cruel like that. You would be surprised at the hidden evil ways FB has. Keep yourself busy and take each day at a time, relax and be you, dont change for everyone else, you are ok !

[jd_here]

I went from friend to paryah overnight after 53 years of friendship.....I'll never know why?

[Purple_Popple]

Nowt so queer as folk JD, if you dont know the reason why, then i doubt it's you. You are not worthy of them as friends.

[DTCwordfan]

JD - all friendships have the ups and downs, some more up and others more down than the other peaks and troughs.....hang in there.

[Old_Geezer]

Try not to mix up Facebook "friends" with real friends. Sometimes the two may overlap, but they aren't the same.

Friends do come and go throughout life. It happens, try not to read too much into it. One can only maintain a limited number anyway. Relationships need work and the more 'friends' you try to maintain, the less time you have for each. Good friends stay a longer time but there again they tend to put more into the relationship. Or maybe they are just more compatible.

When a friendship fades inevitably there is a last meeting at some point. Probably wasn't planned but one moment you were meeting, the next it didn't happen any more. Unless you know of something you are doing wrong then I'd not be overly concerned if I were you. Make sure you put the effort in with friends that are most important to you, and then accept those that come into and then pass out of you life. It adds to life's rich variety.

[micmak]

Now I know why I don't do facebook. I didn't really before this thread, but I do now. Anyway I don't have any friends anyway, just acquaintances.

[pips1]

I have 'friends' who I wish would walk out of my life!!

[micmak]

Then if you don't consider them friends pip, then they are not.

[starone]

I haven't got very many friends either. One or two who are true and remain there but apart from that I am alone. It doesn't bother me a lot though I am quite self-sufficient and of course I can always come on to this site if I want a chat. I would never, ever, go on to Facebook or Twitter or any of that kind of chatroom. From what I can see of it they are nothing short of trouble.

[happyone2]

I dont see my facebook friends as my friends per se, they may be people i have dealt with recently and i want to see if we will develop into friends in "real" life but i dont think of them as close to me........even tho they will obviously know quite a bit about me and i them.

I do know however that if someone only contacts me to talk about themselves i get bored and delete them, if they dont seem interested in what im doing i delete them..........

To really be able to decide that its not you, look back at those who have deleted you and review the messages / comments/ interactions you had with them up to the point that they deleted and honestly look at your own behaviour..........as an example i have an ex friend who was only interested in hitting on my male friends...she could never see why people ( other friends ) also removed her and kept their distance from her and never will until she looks at her behaviour.

If you can honestly say that your own behaviour is okay, then it is their problem and that of facebook and look at another outlet for your friendship needs..

Good luck

[ravenmiss]

Try not to worry about it, if they don't want to be a part of your life then they weren't ever going to be a good friend. I have virtually no friends locally (a few online). One has recently literally told me to my face he 'can't' be my friend anymore, did it hurt? Yes! but what's the point in trying to be friends with someone who doesn't want to be a friend to you? I know for a fact I'm a likeable person, I just don't seem to be meeting the right people obviously! :)

[chi-chi66]

It does happen through you're life, you semm to me to be still quite young. Nothing wrong in that....but as you get older, you move around this world, mean to keep in touch with you're bestest ever friend or friends, sometimes you forget or they forget, you worry about it for a while but still don't get in touch. I know I hae lost touch over the years, if its girls, you don't know their married name?...or you lose their number or address....You are NOT a rubbish person, because you care. and stay OFF of facebook....how can a person on there have 1,000 + friends???

[bloaterbum]

You know i've lost friendsover the years and discovered on reflection they only needed you when there was no one else ie a girlfriend to occupy them.(these are males). They might phone with a problem or some job that wants doing.
They say you must love yourself in order for others to like you and idare say there is some truth in that.
Do as an earlier advisor says stay off the Facebook.It creates more problems than it cures. Be yourself and give time to listen to others that's my advice

[pillj123]

As life moves on...then so friendships can change too.Sometimes we are friends just because circumstances place us together ,but only for a season.These fade as we move on....and thats absolutely fine.
Look at where you are in life and see if this is the case for you.

Sometimes we may have friends who will remain so for life...but you may not see them or speak for months and months,but there is a solid loving foundation which change doens't break...these friendships are less than the first type....but you know it when you have a friend like this!

Sometimes our circumstances allow us to have lots of social or work,or school friendships...again...fairly dependant on the thing we share in common.They are more because we are thrust together...but you may find deeper friendships with a few....

Sometimes it is wise to question our own character..as one or two have also said in answers to you.If you could gently ask someone who knows you well..like a relative,or trusted wise person,what they think...it may help.Sounds to me you are genuinely concerned...concerned enough to find the answer.

There are so many sorts of amazing types of human beings...there are so many people out there who will be your friend!