ChatterBank1 min ago
What Should I Do About My Friend?
3 Answers
I have basically one or at most two friends. I lost most of the small amount I had before when I had embarrassing health problems three years ago which also made me unemployed and practically drop out of society.
One guy who I saw every few weeks turned out to be a lifesaver at first and would see me often and even visited me in hospital when no one else did bar my mum. I started to meet him more often and I suppose he became my best friend. However he has many faults and even before this all happened I had been on holiday with him and he had ended up hitting me just when I eventually responded to his petty jibes.
To summarise he has many faults and it's pissing me off. I will list the pros and cons and you can tell me what you think?
Pros
Helped me with social support when virtually no one else did
Is good to talk to about sport and stuff and for a sense of social contact
Isn't judgemental about my health problems
Offers companionship and the chance to do things with
Have known for a decade
Cons
Can be bullying and has a ridiculous temper, frequently starts raising his voice when we are out over trivial stuff and will have a go at bar staff, shop staff etc for perceived bad attitude when non existed.
Is extremely jealous of me socialising with any one else
Is lazy and hasn't worked for 2 1/2 years despite job offers, lives with his dad and has no expenses and prefers spending half the week in the pub
Is a bit boring
Can frequently be racist
Has no self awareness or ever accepts he is wrong about anything
What should I do? I meet the guy every week and while I sometimes enjoy it if I said meet less frequently he would go mad. We have arguments every month and he is quick to pick fights over the most trivial crap or perceived slights.
The problem is my only other 'friend' who I previously regarded as my best friend barely ever contacts me after a two year absence when I was ill, and now I meet him every two months or less, more often than not after I have had to instigate it.
I am going to volunteer this year and see if the new socialising might help. Any thoughts?
Should I get rid of him?
One guy who I saw every few weeks turned out to be a lifesaver at first and would see me often and even visited me in hospital when no one else did bar my mum. I started to meet him more often and I suppose he became my best friend. However he has many faults and even before this all happened I had been on holiday with him and he had ended up hitting me just when I eventually responded to his petty jibes.
To summarise he has many faults and it's pissing me off. I will list the pros and cons and you can tell me what you think?
Pros
Helped me with social support when virtually no one else did
Is good to talk to about sport and stuff and for a sense of social contact
Isn't judgemental about my health problems
Offers companionship and the chance to do things with
Have known for a decade
Cons
Can be bullying and has a ridiculous temper, frequently starts raising his voice when we are out over trivial stuff and will have a go at bar staff, shop staff etc for perceived bad attitude when non existed.
Is extremely jealous of me socialising with any one else
Is lazy and hasn't worked for 2 1/2 years despite job offers, lives with his dad and has no expenses and prefers spending half the week in the pub
Is a bit boring
Can frequently be racist
Has no self awareness or ever accepts he is wrong about anything
What should I do? I meet the guy every week and while I sometimes enjoy it if I said meet less frequently he would go mad. We have arguments every month and he is quick to pick fights over the most trivial crap or perceived slights.
The problem is my only other 'friend' who I previously regarded as my best friend barely ever contacts me after a two year absence when I was ill, and now I meet him every two months or less, more often than not after I have had to instigate it.
I am going to volunteer this year and see if the new socialising might help. Any thoughts?
Should I get rid of him?
Answers
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He has absolutely no right to hit you, and tell him so - if he hits you or tries to then that's it, friendship over. And if he goes 'off on one' while out, ay you refuse to be embarrassed by him anymore and walk out. If your friendship means anything to him, he'll come back and apologise, and you can tell him hes got to learn to curb that tempper of his else one of these days it could get him into trouble, eg by picking on the wrong person.
Don't just rely on these two people for your social life, join a group or society, take evening classes, a book reading group at the library, or go on coach trips - you'll soon make friends - is there a group for your health problem? look on the internet and find out. Don't always be in for this person, if he demands to know where youare going, tell him it's non of his business, and if he gets really nasty then I'm afraid you'll just have to get the police involved. Good luck
Don't just rely on these two people for your social life, join a group or society, take evening classes, a book reading group at the library, or go on coach trips - you'll soon make friends - is there a group for your health problem? look on the internet and find out. Don't always be in for this person, if he demands to know where youare going, tell him it's non of his business, and if he gets really nasty then I'm afraid you'll just have to get the police involved. Good luck
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