Jokes About Running

[merylpeep]

anyone know any good jokes about running? And I don't mean running jokes, haha. I mean jokes about the sport or act of running

[maggiebee]

How do crazy runners go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.

Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!

How do you know when you've married a running enthusiast?
When you have more running clothes than regular clothes in your laundry pile.

Who is the fastest runner of all time?
Adam, because he came first in the human race!

If twenty monkeys run after one banana, what time is it?
Twenty after one!

What do you get when you run in front of a car?
TIRED

What do you get when you run behind a car?
EXHAUSTED

Why do dogs run in circles?
Because its hard to run in squares!

[excelsior-1]

two tourists in africa were observing some lionesses on the plains

one lioness got up and started to walk towards them - at which point they decided to run away

one of them stopped, took his shoes off and took a pair of trainers out of his back pack - then proceeded to put them on

the other one said "you'll not outrun the lioness by wearing those"

the first one replied "i don't need to outrun the lioness - i just need to outrun you"

[Quoi]

I encouraged my mother in law to run for an hour every morning. Hopefully, she will be in Birmingham by a week on Friday.

[aelmpvw]

It’s a little known fact that Tony Blair is a runner. For security reasons he goes running very early in the morning, before dawn breaks. One morning, while running up Whitehall he runs past a lady of the night.
“Fifty quid,” she shouts.
“Make it a fiver,” Tony replies with a chuckle and runs on.
The next morning, she’s there again.
“Fifty quid!”
He calls back, “Make it a fiver,” and runs on. This goes on for a week until one morning Cherie wakes up and announces she’s joining her husband for a run. They got out and run up Whitehall, where they pass the same lady of the night.
“See!” she calls out. “That’s what you get for a fiver!”

[Baldric]

Just for Fun!

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSN90RatR_jvKhRonD5URVjM6I99LVrlI2hL_LpfdvzM-LfZiE-8w

[Old_Geezer]

It doesn't look like he thinks it fun, though.

[marval]

"I pulled a hamstring during the London Marathon."
"An hour into the race, I jumped off the sofa."

What do runners do when they forget something?
They jog their memory.

Did you hear about the marathon runner who ran for three hours?
He only moved two feet