Falling for him

[Roughquest]

Hi all,

I am falling for a married man whom i work with (i am long term temping presently) - he is in a very important position and at our works Xmas dinner (through the demon drink) we shared a brief kiss and a dance together, his wife was also present at this party, to which he said we had to be careful, but even now I cant stop thinking about him, he often pops into the office where i work and will sit and chat with me..........he is just gorgeous and I know there is some attraction there between us...but in reality i know nothing will come of it.....this is sooo difficult but we often share the odd glance and its extremely difficult in meetings as I have to sit and take the minutes when all i can think of is being with him....i am hopeless...he is older than me too...not that has much to do with it, but i just think he is wonderful.

RQ xx

[khana]

I hate to be blunt, but you need to stop flirting straight away. If he's married then you should respect that even if by his actions he appears not to.

I appreciate that it is difficult if you find him very attractive but as you say nothing can ever come of it except a lot of heartache.

[zara 4]

Sorry sweetheart but he's not yours,you don't sound very old( though I might be wrong)its no good getting involved it will lead to(like khana says)heartache and it will be your heart breaking.

[Scarlett]

This is really exciting for you, and believe me, this is the best bit- the chase. You will never get him, he will never leave his wife, he is too old for you etc etc. You are better off leaving this as a fantasy- I speak from experience!

[maximo]

Hi there ! I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old are you ? I know it happened to me before ( although he wasn't my boss, just a sort of father figure : ie the manager of the international youth hostel I was staying in ) and it took me, believe it or not, 2 years, and moving out ( of the country, as it is ! ), to get over him. It happened again -you never learn- a few weeks ago, with my manager at work. ( TO BE CONTINUED AS THE AB POLICE THINKS MY POST IS TOO LONG LOL ))

[maximo]

RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAA ! IT WON'T LET ME PASTE ! LOL

nevermind, I'll write it again....****** !

Anyway, this manager at work, whom I didn't think much of to begin with, got frienlier and friendlier with me over time, then after a party with work peeps, he asked me if I wnated to do the "after" at his...Bad as I am, I said yes, and well..the rest is history. the next time at work, he was all weird with me, so I just went up to him and talked about work. He could see I wasn't a mad stalker, so we got talking more. Turns out the guy had a GF, who was away on a trip at the time, but coming back soon. Imagine that. Anyway, I took it lightly (although I really liked him...), and, to cut a long story short, he now is a mate, and tells me all about how his "next" GF ( see how much of a gentleman he is ! ) will not be anything like this or that.

Anyway, to sum it up, your guy, just like mine, is a player. He gets a kick out of seducing a younger woman ( mine is 16 years older ), but that's all it is. A kick. Like every man his age, what he's looking for is a stable life, stable wife ( and/or Gf ! ). Call it middle-age trauma, or whatever, but that's what it is. Apologies to men out there who ar NOT like that ( and most of men are not ) ! Take it as a fun "ride" and get him out of your mind. Have fun. That's all he's doing, after all ! ;-)

[maggie01]

He's not available, so don't let him use you to spice up his love life.

[SWEEP]

I am in the process of divorcing my husband of 25yrs for having an affair with a younger woman, so I would advise leave him, the heartache and pain, my children and myself are going through is horrendous.

[lady_p_gold]

DON'T GO THERE cannot advise strongly enough, because you will end up falling deeper and deeper and at the moment he is flattered and might even go the whole way in which case you will end up hanging around, secret meetings, sitting on your own at Christmas, waiting for him to leave his wife which he probably never will, and even if he did it will not work as there will be so much fall out. Look at the post of Sweep below and think of the hidden victims there might be. He just happened to be there at the right time and you were ready to fall in love, it is like a chicken and the first thing it sees it thinks is its mother even though it might be a broom handle, I firmly believe there are times in our life when we are 'ripe' for romance and whoever comes into the range at that time we can fall for. Ask your agency to move you to another assignment pronto. Tippex him out of your life now.

[laurence2]

Roughquest, its called eating out the palm of his hand, He's in the power seat and you go all starry eyed and weak kneed.

It seems to be some sort of fatal attraction with you, He's gorgeous/wonderful etc. He seems a waste of space, also as he has no respect for his wife.

I would also advise that you stay of the booze if your easily led, My view is your nothing other than a temp to him, He thinks he's on some sort of pedastall and you are looking up to him.

Just another point if he's one of the big cheeses then and you jeopardise his position by carrying on, i'm sure he can make your long term temp position suddenly become supplus to requirements.

I'm sorry if you think i'm being extremely harsh, but you better get over it sooner rather than later as theirs only one outcome, and guest what its not you and him.

[Roughquest]

I know where you are all coming from, I really do, I have been in this position before, but he is not my boss, and I don't work with him directly, we are not in the same building. He just visits from time to time.....but its still difficult....and I agree men are players and they are also very weak....but what the hell he still has the most gorgeous eyes I have ever seen..... ahhhhhhhhh.

Im not a youngster either LOL, even though he must be at least 7 years older than me!

I shall refrain from temptation.....

RQ xx

[mash]

Good choice RQ. Find yourself a nice guy who is available, it's much more likely to bring you happiness.

[woofgang]

Well done. If he is married and cheating he's not wonderful and imho is using you something rotten

[laurence2]

RQ' i'm glad to hear you won't be tempted.

Ps, Not all men are players, its just jerks like him that give decent men bad names.