what do other people think about this..

[missjef]

My friend who is 17 went away to Canada on holiday with her family for about 3 weeks (around 2 weeks ago she got back), and since she got back her boyfriend (18) has been acting all weird, and seems to be avoiding her (theyve been together for just over a year). He came round to her for around 1/2 an hour the day after she got back but then had to leave because he was going to a party (she wasnt invited) - which i think is wrong anyway since i think he should have been spending time with her since she had been away!
It was only after this party when he started acting weird, which made her think that something happened at the party, she has tried asking him but he only said "i cant tell you" & then "ill tell you tomorrow" but never did.

He had to stay back a year at school so will be going into yr 13 in sept, where as she will be going to Uni (which will be quite far away from here) - also with this he know has a different group of friends (mainly girls it seems).
He spends most of his times hanging around with his new friends, or going out clubbing - she never gets invited to any parties or anything.
They went to the cinema since she had said to him that she would like to spend the day with him, but he sat and texted one of his friends all the way through, and then as soon as they got out phoned his friends to see what he wanted to do! He then just dropped her off at home, and went out with his friend! which really upset her, which i think is understandable!
My boyfriend went on holiday with him last year (while he was dating my friend) and said that he was constantly chatting up other girls. He has also heard that this lad kisses other girls in clubs, and has gone to a strip club once or twice without my friend knowing. He is constantly texting other girls too - particularly his friend Megan��

[missjef]

About a week ago she rang him and he told her that he doesnt feel the same about her as he did, and doesnt love her anymore and she had asked him if he was wanting to go out with this girl megan and he said "i dont know, well maybe" so she hung up. He then told her he loved her the next day and they decided to go on a break until he said 'i get my head sorted out' - we all think he just wants to go on a break to give her hope and then just not get back with her.

My boyfriend has heard that he wants to go out with this other girl but she isnt sure yet.
We all think that she should finish with him and she will find someone at Uni, and that she will be better off without him.

my question is - do you think he is acting oddly because something went on at this party? She has tried talking to him about it, but it never gets anywhere.
i just wanted to know what you all think she should do, or what you would do in that position?
And should i tell my friend about him supposedly wanting to go out with the other girl, or just leave it?

ps. sorry its long!

[chrissiekins]

Bl@@dy hell girl, is it not glaringly obvious?!!

...Just make sure you're there for her as it's going to be really tough. This guy's clearly not old enough to be settling down, and nor is your mate. 'Tis a cliche, but she'll get over it ;o)

[missjef]

the thing is i know i should tell her because she is my best friend, but me and my friends have told her about him kissing other girls and she has just said "well as long as he was drunk then it doesnt mean anything"!
Its just really hard because she seems to think that if she leaves him she wont get anyone else! i'll be there for her whatever she decides.

[pingping]

missjef, i made the mistake of staying with my boyfriend when i started uni. he was always getting drunk and behaving stupidly, but i always excused the behaviour because he was drunk and thefore he couldn't mean it...

i wish now that i had had the courage to get rid of him at the time as it affected my first year so much (arguments every time we saw each other). it took a year before i decided to call it quits and i've regretted it ever since that i didn't do it before going to uni as that was an amazing year of meeting so many new friends and having so many experiences i could have enjoyed more if he hadn't been hanging around like a bad smell!

my advice - be a good friend and just be there for her whatever decision she makes, but let her know that surely she deserves more from a boyfriend than one who takes every opportunity to cheat / flirt!