christening a baby

[bednobs]

i am writing this here cause i'm not brave enough to post in r&s!
My husband would like our daughter christened in our local village church. On investigating the website it says that the godparents must hhave been baptised themselves (which i suppose makes sense) One of the people who we would like as a godparent, and would trust p's moral guidance to has not been christened themselves (and in fact as far as i know doesn't believe in god)
Do you reckon there is any way round this with the church? i want to get ideas before i put it to them.
I realise how ridiculous it sounds, wanting a godparent that doesn't believe in god, but i would like this person to have some sort of status in her life, other than "mum's friend"
Any ideas (that don't involve lambasting me for being hypocritcal)?

[boxtops]

I think Lottie's got a point, but I look at it from the other angle. I'm godparent to my (now adult) nephew, but I don't share the same religious beliefs as his family - but if anything had happened to my sister and BIL when he was still a minor, I would have done all I could to encourage the lad if he wanted to talk about faith matters. It's being there for the child's moral support which matters - it's a bit like nursing, you have to put your own beliefs (or lack of them) to one side, in the child's best interests.

[daisya]

I think it's the norm now sherrard, it's just I was brought up the way that things should be right form...I realise it's not for everyone but old training is hard to change.

[shaneystar2]

I have several godchildren and was prepared to stand up for them in the church service .I've also taken an interest in them over the years .I've also been baptised and confirmed .At the time of their baptisms I did have faith in God .
I'm not a churchgoer or God botherer now though .
I believe that children should have someone in the background who isn't a parent in case of other eventualities in their lives .So my way of thinking is I would be there in practical circumstances too, not just spiritual ones which is why I agreed to be a godparent .I would never have dreamt of imposing my belief ( at that time ) on them .
My last godchild was named ,not baptised as such ,and I agreed to be his sponsor which was much easier .If it had been a bells and smells service I would have refused .

[sherrardk]

I'm not anti god just not a believer - my 8 year old son believes and is very serious about it, which I encourage, listen when he wants to discuss things and let him question what I think. I go to the church when there is a school thing on, etc. I just feel that things are regarded a bit differently now - with no offence meant to people who are religious.

[joko]

thats true lottie, people tend to believe that a godparent is supposed to take care of the child if you die, but there is no legal responsibility to do it - there is no legal obligation to have any input in their life at all - it is not recognised in law in any way ...

and to be honest i cant think that it actually happens much - i mean if my sister died there is no way her daughter would go to live with her oldest mate, or her boyfriends cousin! ... she would live with my mum, or my brother with their kids, or even me.

its sad that some people would be so cynical to choose a rich childless couple in the hope of an inheritance...

i would not be anyones godparent, because i dont believe in god....

id suggest you just name your friend an honorary auntie or something, have a small gift ceremony at the party afterwards for it - get them a locket and a certificate made or something to make it more 'official' and recognised to you them and all your friends and family - because even if you could persuade your friend to take the vows, itd have no meaning to them.

[EDDIE51]

It is not 'up to the Vicar' Godparents must provide evidence of their christening by producing the record (card) or being able to say where and when they were Christened so that records can be checked. The vicar may accept their word but it can be checked. Baptism in any Christian church is accepeted so a catholic can be a Godparent for an anglican baptism ( not sure about the other way round though)

[naomi24]

Like Shaney, as a believer I accepted the role of Godparent - but I was never asked to produce proof of my baptism.

[EDDIE51]

In most cases the vicar will accept the Godparents word that they have been baptised but they do have to state in the service that they belive in God and will 'bring the child to christ' I'll look up the exact words.

[naomi24]

I known the words, Eddie. I think it's a horrible service.

[EDDIE51]

here , scroll down to 'Profession of Faith'
http://www.churchofen.../cibaptismandconf.pdf
Naomi, are you saying you became a Godparent despite not beliving in God and thinking that baptism is a 'Horrible service' ?

[Ric.ror]

Bednobs - I haven't had time to read the other posts but I believe as long as one of the GP's is christened you should be ok
That is the way in the catholic church so if they wont take you at your local come and join us catholic
Ignore people saying your being hypocritical - bet your vicar/priest would rather you did then didn't
Good luck to you and your little family you deserve it xx

[naomi24]

Eddie, no. I accepted the role when I was a believer. I wouldn't do it now.

[modeller]

I am an atheist but I was Christened ,as were my parents I believe, and
my daughters were Christened, but not for any religious reasons. We didn't know the word Baptism. We all had God parents. I don't think my daughter's God Parents were asked any questions .

I'm aware as I write this how hypocritical it may sound but it's not, because
we never gave it a thought. We just did it because it was what was done at the time. The child was born , you registered the birth and you had to have it Christened , end of story.

I was in a vicar's house on one occasion when a couple were coming up the drive and the vicar's wife said " Ah another three wheeler ! " She explained later it meant that was the only times they come to church, were for
Birth ,Marriage, and Death.

[Brenden]

I would have a chat with the vicar bednobs, I am sure he will go along with your choice of godparents - at the end of the day, as we grow older many of us change our views on religion and find our own path of belief.

[friedgreentomato]

Lie!! My sister wanted to get her children christened and when asked had she or else they would have to before the children she of course I am!!!

[joko]

Fried green tomato ... er what? who are you calling liar?

I think maybe many older people in this country were just acceptd as having been baptized etc because quite simply most people were.

it was more unusual than now not to be.

[bednobs]

Joko, fgt is saying I /the godparent should lie :)

[karenmac60]

Bednobs, why not go down the naming ceremony route but ask the minister if he/she would like to be involved informally given the circumstances? That way your friend could be 'moralguardian' or whatever the term is, plus there would be the link for all 3 of your children with the minister. It wouldn't have to be religious and the minister could be some sort of guest of honour or something.

[joko]

ah i see, i was wondered who they they meant.... couldnt think why theyd think someone was lying haha

[friedgreentomato]

Lol joko I meant for bednobs to lie