Older Dating

[Firefly-823]

How do I tell my mom that I (a 17 year old) is dating a 22 year old man? I truly believe that he is the one and don't want to keep hiding it from my family, I really need advice!!!

Also how do you guys feel about it? Are there any parents out there that are for or against it and why?

[donny48]

I was 15, Ann was 14. We have now been married for 48yrs, together including going steady and engagement for 53 yrs.

[grasscarp]

Hiya Minty. :o) xxx

[pastafreak]

My daughter has always dated men who are older than she is. The first...TOTALLY unsuitable...was when she was 16 or so, and he was at least 10 years older. It didn't last long. The next was also about 10 years older,and they were together for quite awhile...and stayed in touch until he married a year or 2 ago. She's been with her current partner for 7 years or more...he's about 5 years older.
Be honest with your family. If this young man treats you well,they will see it and accept him. And if he doesn't...listen to them. Parents and siblings often see what we don't...OR can't.

[Cloverjo]

If he's a nice guy it doesn't matter about his age. I was 25 and my partner 51 when we met. We're still together, and my parents and granny loved him.

[Firefly-823]

Thank you every body for the great advice but Im still not sure how to bring it up do I just sit her down and tell her, or... idk.

[yogi-bear]

Tell your mum, firefly.....age is but a number.... if he treats you well and loves you and you love him, then there isn't a problem is there?
As mentioned, most parents can tell if he is a good 'un....... I'm sure he is. Good luck :-)

p.s We have two daughters aged 21 and 18, and their boyfriends are 22 and 19 respectively....... we've met them a few times now and they're really nice lads

[ummmm]

What's your mum like? Is she easy going?

[grasscarp]

Firefly. Just say - mum I am seeing someone. His name is xxx and I met him at work or whatever. The age is not really part of the conversation. If he was MUCH older it could be, but in your case it really isn't.

[Firefly-823]

Some times she is but she can be rash and this summer I was hanging out with him and we started making out and he gave me a hickey and she saw it and freaked out and then asked how old he is and when I said 22 she freaked out and threatened to call the cops and told me I couldnt talk to him. But we kept talking and we just clicked and it feels right. She said he was probably taking advantage of me but he is not, he even came to one of my cross country meets out of town and stood in the pouring rain just to watch me run.

[Cloverjo]

Hmm., OK. How to go about telling your mum. You could just introduce him without mentioning his age, or you could say "just want to warn you mum, he's a little bit older than me." That's what I did. When they see your man is a young 22 year old they'll be fine! Remember, mine was 51. 22 is nothing. You have nothing to worry about. Do report back, though. We like to have happy endings, here.

[grasscarp]

so she already knows.

[Mamyalynne]

Simply say, Mum remember 'x' from the summer? We're dating and I'd like to bring him home so you can get to know him better.

[Cloverjo]

Ooh, crossed posts there. Ok, just say you're seeing the guy from the run and he's great, and could he hang out at your house now and then.

[i assume you're American. It's very hard to write English in an American way without seeming odd, somehow - even though we speak the same language]

[jno]

I'm a parent and I wouldn't mind. 17 is old enough to make up your own mind. (This isn't necessarily the same as saying you're making the right decision, but people of all ages can make mistakes.)

[Mamyalynne]

If Mum does kick up a fuss when you mention him , tell her you'd much rather share your feelings about your private life with her rather than keep them secret as it's important to you to know you can trust she'll judge things fairly.

[Firefly-823]

Are you guys all English?

[Mamyalynne]

Answerbank.co.uk - most of us yes.

[Firefly-823]

Ohhh lmao I didnt even notice that

[Mamyalynne]

Mums and Daughters are much the same worldwide - we've all been there :-)


Good luck with it all.

[yogi-bear]

///// we started making out and he gave me a hickey and she saw it and freaked out and then asked how old he is and when I said 22 she freaked out and threatened to call the cops and told me I couldnt talk to him.////

Mum knows now, does she?

Then you have really answered your own question.

Best of luck anyway