Threesome Relationship Advice

[Bigjaykay]

My soon to be wife and I (both 30) are open and honest about everything. She has told me she has been in a threesome before (both MMF AND FFM). She has said that she would like to do this again. I told her if things got stale we would talk about it later, but I don't think I could see her with another guy. She is attracted to women also, and said that she is fine with it. She is more sexually adventurous than I am. Also, she said she would let me bring it up, since I was the one uncomfortable with it. My questions are; Will this change our relationship? Our sex life? Is it normal to feel insecure and worried? She has already said if it doesn't happen she would be ok with it. But am I depriving her with my insecurities? And am I missing out on something with her?

[RandyMarsh]

Problem would be if one person was getting more from the arrangement or more into it than the other, if you are worried then take it slowly.

Are you excited about it or just apprehensive?

[Bigjaykay]

I have known about the threesome for a while. I have no problem trying new things with her as I trust her. She had told me we would take it slow, make rules, make me comfortable with it, and if I still wasnt sure, that we didnt have to. It is more the uncertainty of it. I never have done things like this.

[pixie374]

I agree with ummm... only if and when you're comfortable. It doesn't sound like it's essential for her, she's openly suggested it, which is good.

[rockyroad]

OP wrote: "and if I still wasn't sure, that we didn't have to"

But she still would want to, and what if that entailed her becoming the filling in someone else's sandwich? Could you cope with that? She seems quite exotic in her sexual needs, can you really see her being happy in a monogamous marriage?

[rockyroad]

Togo what will you wait and see....? Seems like a perfectly reasonable first question to me. Maybe he should have started a 'what can I make for dinner tonight' thread before asking a more serious question ?

[ummmm]

Perfectly reasonable question imo too.

[anneasquith]

In truth I think you would rather not participate .

[Bigjaykay]

It is a real question. My username is just something I have always used. I have been with her for 3 years, and never have worried about her being faithful. Ever. Even when we were apart due to work. She would not go be with anyone else either. She has said it would be something for us to do together. Only in our bedroom. We have known eachother for 14 years. She has already stated if it doesn't happen, she would have no problem with it. We are very active, 1-2 times a day. We have tried other things, even though it was new to me. I am just trying to figure this one out. It is a big step.

[ummmm]

Bigjay - don't do anything just to please someone else. It would probably end in tears.

Imagine her having sex with someone else and replay that in your head.

[jourdain2]

I honestly think you would better living together and trying to establish the new mores to see how you feel about it before finally committing to the relationship. My instinct is that you feel this is not right for you, much as you may love the lady. Honesty is everything in marriage. Hope this helps.

[rockyroad]

Why not just have a go before you get married and see if you like it? Still can't see the point of getting married. If its to start a family how are you going to explain to your kids all these 'aunties' and 'uncles' that come for sleep overs lol!

[pixie374]

I'm sure most people keep their sex lives away from their children.

[ummmm]

Married people have threesomes too.

[rockyroad]

Married people have threesomes, well you learn something new everyday. Thank god for AB.

[rockyroad]

Pixie, the OP has already stated it would be 'only in their bed'