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I Was Shocked

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marval | 17:47 Fri 11th May 2018 | Jokes
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I was shocked today when I was unable to complete my daily crossword puzzle. I was lost for words.

I have an S&M kit. It is brand spanking new.

Did you know, there is a secret Mr. Men character about whom very little is known.? Even his name is a Mr. E.

I have written a book on how to cut onions. Read it and weep.

I am going to open a bar called Rapunzels. That way the ladies can really let their hair down.

I tried this new reggae reggae hair dye yesterday. I wouldn’t recommend it though, you can still see my roots.

I have got a spring in my step. Don’t walk barefoot through the slinky factory.

In his will, my Granddad left me a Victorian device for weaving wigs for yourselves and your children. It is an old family heirloom.

My partner and I were on the tube earlier today when eventually I just sighed and said, “We are never going to get this last bit of toothpaste out.”

I am in a band called ‘Is it time for a Kit Kat.’ We still haven’t had our big break though.
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I went out to my ice cream van thinking they would give me a Whippy....but oh no, no such satisfaction, all they could suggest is a 69 and they were flaky about that.
Your onion book had me in tears :-)
Good uns there Marval! Or should that be good puns?..

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