Theland, I'm so glad you have found some sort of comfort, we all need something so if it works for you don't worry about anyone else's views, you are not weak.
Wolf, is right, life is hard, seek solice where you can.
And as she also says just because they are family you don't have to like them.
My Mother is really dragging me down (see my other posts if you're interested, tho I don't blame you if your not!) she is the most negative person I know.
I love her but I don't always like her.
But unfortunately in the words of Robbie Williams
"I sit and talk to God, but he just laughs at my plans"
I send you my heartfelt good wishes. X