Could You Love Someone If You Never Met Them In Person?

[Nameless14]

Why or why not?

[dannyk13]

No, I would want to see what kind of personality the person had.

[Ken4155]

No.To be in love with someone you need to really know them. You cannot possibly do that without being in their company for a considerable time.

[kvalidir]

I think you could probably fall in love with the idea of them and form an infatuation because you would then sculpt their words and deeds as you would wish them to be if they were generally pleasant, but really deep proper love I doubt, although meeting someone in real life can cloud things, you can be instantly lust struck by the chemistry between you and another person on first sight, if you are lucky that grows into a deep and consuming love and if not you've ended up sleeping with a charismatic twonk.

[Kathyan]

I met my husband on 28th Feb after writing to him for a couple of months. We only spent a total of 8 weeks together before getting married in September of the same year. We celebrated our 21st Wedding Anniversary this year.

[mallyh]

no, I need to see some ones eyes when I talk to them .

[dannyk13]

Ken, not necessarily true, it is possible to fall in love after a comparitively short time.

[Prudie]

Certainly not with the kind of person who kept asking probing questions online and absolutely never had the courtesy to even answer some back.

[Mamyalynne]

Letter writing and telephone calls for hours at a time do get you a good feel of the character of someone, meeting in person is of course the ideal and probably the clincher.

[Ken4155]

Danny, i believe that, in most cases, true love, trust and understanding takes time to flourish. Granted, there probably is such a thing as 'love at first sight', but it is probably more 'lust at first sight'.

[dannyk13]

Ken, I fell in love with my wife within a month of meeting her.

[kvalidir]

I met my partner in January, for literally a short time with a ton of other people around and I've got to be honest I've never been so lust struck in all my life. I would have done ANYTHING to get him on his own lol. I thought I'd never see him again but he swapped seats and sat next to me, chatted to me and asked for my number before he left and he then started Skyping me and emailing me and invited me to watch him work in March, which I did and again I was utterly lust struck and this time he did nothing except kiss me in a pub and off he went again and I was dying by this point, but then he asked me over in May and the couple of weeks we spent together then cemented us as a couple absolutely and for me it was set in stone that it was him or no-one after that. I've toed and froed to him since then, and he moved heaven and hell to get a few days away with me in Ireland, and he bought me a 'nearly engagement ring' as he put it which then morphed into 'where's your engagement ring' the next time he saw me not wearing it and we're now living together part time when work and other nonsense allows. In total I reckon we've spent a couple of months together maximum and tons of skype / email time, but I've never known anyone else so deeply, so maybe it's the level of attachment and intensity rather than the length of time always.

[AuntLydia]

love is so complex there is no way you can love someone you have never met. When relationships first start you are both on your best behaviour, love comes when the barriers fall and they see you and you see them warts and all. If you still love them and they you then it will probably last. Up until that point its no more than sexual attraction.

[dannyk13]

AL. I think you realise that you are in love when you are apart and you ache in every part of your body.

[Canary42]

PMSL at Prudie's comment.

[woofgang]

I think that love at first sight exists (well I know it does) But love without ever meeting? No.

[bainbrig]

Some confusion here between lust and love, I fear.

Once lust goes - and believe me, it goes - the deep, true, unconditional love of over half-a-century, is all that's left (as Larkin nearly wrote).

BB

[kvalidir]

I swear Prudie is John Cleese in disguise :) x

[woofgang]

BB you are right. But that link can be recognised, and mutually recognised, at first sight.

[kvalidir]

Agreed, right up til I went out to stay with him in May it was an unfulfilled lust fest on my part, but we got to know each other far more deeply probably because of the lack of time, not despite it, and as AL says we've both seen one another at our worst because of situations that have occurred and we've woven that into what we are to one another, so fingers crossed x

[maggiebee]

I think there's a big difference between loving someone and being in love with someone.
I didn't know any of my grandparents but love them because of what they gave to me through my mum and dad.