Why Do Some Women Do This?

[Dantheman98]

So quite a few females that I have known in my life from university and one who I recently worked alongside briefly at a school, are very friendly and talkative in person and then as soon as I sent them a request on social media, it gets rejected. I get that they are obviously entitled to their privacy but as following on social media is a very common thing these days, it kind of makes me feel like they don’t like me for some reason (I don’t mean like me as in romantically but just like me in general). One girl who I requested to follow on Instagram was a girl I went to uni with, very friendly in person when we was at uni and we had good banter, then within five minutes of me sending the request I got a text saying ‘How did you find me on Instagram?’ And the request just got ignored. Thanks

[pixie374]

It probably isn't personal. In general, women get a lot of social media requests, mostly that they have not initiated and often go too far too fast. It may be nothing to do with you, or it might be- but they are protecting themselves from potential hassle.

[Atheist]

Dan; it sounds as though she might remember you but doesn't particularly like you. I can't tell you why she might not like you, but women are humans and they have their preferences and likes and dislikes. Do you like her as a person?

[Buenchico]

Some people (both male and female) see unsolicited messages on social media as 'invading their space'.

To them, it's much the same as if you turned up uninvited on their front doorstep and knocked on the door. While they might be happy to converse with you (both in person and online) 'on their terms', they resent you seeming to push in elsewhere.

[Dantheman98]

For those saying about invading their space on social media. Sending follow/friend requests to people you know or have known is extremely common and the norm these days. That’s why I don’t understand why they rejected it even though we’ve spoke nicely in person, one of which I was at uni for three years with and was always on good terms with. I didn’t send them a message on social media just a follow request

[barry1010]

Dan, you have to understand that being friendly with work colleagues during working hours, or fellow students in college is totally different to being personal friends and becoming part of their private social and family life.

There are boundaries that have to be respected. Many people prefer to keep their private and work life separate and that is normal. It's good to get along with the people you have to spend all day with; it doesn't mean you would choose to spend your free time with them

[1ozzy]

Dan, you're asking this on an old persons QA site, LOL.
Don't expect modern answers.

[dannyk13]

ozzy,Ouch!

[davebro]

You mention females specifically. Do you get similar responses from males you try to befriend on social media?

If your aim in contacting females is for it to lead to some sort of intimate personal relationship & the females don't want that then they are right to ignore you.

[1ozzy]

My apologies Danny ;-/

[dannyk13]

No probs Ozzie :-)

[Peter Pedant]

// Some people (both male and female) see unsolicited messages on social media as 'invading their space'.//
how true how true
and the corollary
Some people find answers on such things as AB - as an attack on their right to free speech. No ifs or buts allowed.

You also get this in medical journals : "You found that and I found this" - "You are calling me a liar and a forger". "No I found this and you found that" - -

take up sport or weightlifting

[Peter Pedant]

// Do you get similar responses from males you try to befriend on social media?//

eek please this is not a dating site... heavens ....what are you doing later on tonight|?

[Dantheman98]

Dave bro- it’s just a friend request. Most people have hundreds some even thousands of social media friends/followers. Do you think the person knows all them people personally? It’s nothing unusual to send a request to someone you barely know

[davebro]

//Most people have hundreds some even thousands of social media friends/followers.//

No they don't - not in my world!

My question stands - Do you get the same response from men? If you don't try to "friend" men then I question your motives.

[Cloverjo]

I was slightly miffed when a few of my male relatives “unfriended” me on Facebook. I still speak to them IRL.

Don’t worry about it, Dan

[Dantheman98]

Dave bro- to answer your question, no male has ever rejected the request. What do you mean ‘no they don’t’? If you was to look on Instagram on a persons followers it would at least be three figures

[barry1010]

You haven't looked at my Instagram account, Danny. 20 followers is more than enough for me. Mine is private

[davebro]

I've never looked at instagram & the few people I knew on facebook (Meta?) seem to have stopped using it years ago.

[Dantheman98]

Barry and Dave- trust me, people aged between 16 and mid 30s have hundreds, some thousands of followers and friends on Facebook. It’s the norm. That’s why it seems personal if someone rejects a request when they know who you are

[andy-hughes]

Dan - You have asked your Question, and been given a number of replies, including a reasonable explanation from Pixie as to the reactions you are receiving.

Your apparent unwillingness to accept what you are advised speaks to an attitude that you don't like to be told things you don't agree with, and you seem to feel you are entitled to the reaction you want.

This is probably why you are receiving the rejections you are - you are not someone who accepts the points of view of others.

Maybe have a think about how you come across to people via social media, and in person.