The New Leader Of The Opposition Party/
News2 mins ago
My mate lost a toe and they replaced it with a rubber one.
His name is Roberto!
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England has won the World Hairbrushing Championships!
It’s combing home, It’s combing home…
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It's proving very difficult to find a shop selling "Left Guard" for my other armpit.
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Got kicked out of my local Weight-watchers Group.
Wasn’t happy but I had to take it on the chins.
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I heard that by law you need to turn on your headlights when it's raining in Sweden.
How the hell am I supposed to know know when it's raining in Sweden?
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Six year old Annie returns home from school and says that today she had her first family planning lesson at school.
Her mother, very interested, asks: "Oh... How did it go"
"I nearly died of shame!" she answers. "Sam from down the street says the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage. Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital."
Her mother answers laughingly, "But that’s no reason to be ashamed."
"No... but I can't tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves!"
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