Forgive and Forget

[Bubble]

Sorry...i don't really know what category to put this in

Is is possible to forgive and not forget? How do you differentiate between forgiveness and reconciliation? What are the limits of forgivness?

[woofgang]

yes it is definitely possible to forgive and not forget. Forgiveness is an act of will, but it is biologically impossible to forget something at will....try it, its like thinking of an elephant and not thinking of its tail, you just can't do it.

There was a lady on tv recently who said that she forgives the murderer of her son, that's pretty big and the Dalai Lama has memorably said that his best teacher ever was Mao Tse Tung who taught him patience, but I don't think forgiveness arises there as the implication was that the Dalai Lama did not feel wronged.

I sense that your question may have a personal dimension. You might email the Ed and ask for it to be moved to body and soul where you might get more answers

[andy-hughes]

I understand that forgiveness means, as it says, that you forgive someone for an action or statement, reconciliation means that you have agreed to carry on and live as before, without the incident coming between you.

The limits of forgiveness are entirely a matter for the individual - for some the capacity to forgive is bottomless - cornerstone of Christian faith is the willingness to forgive, for others it is an impossible concept to grasp.

[Lonnie]

Forgive and forget, hmm, I think the bounds of fogiveness are endless, but you have to be the right person to forgive certain things, as woogang says, its impossible to forget, and unfortunately, that particular capability, may be a bridge too far, its up to you, the type of person you are, it may help to talk it over person to person with a third party, in confidence of course.

[snook]

Forgive and forget? Tricky one, that� I think, as you mature, you learn to forgive more readily, but to forget is really very difficult. How the mother of that murdered boy (the axe killing in Huyton) could say she forgives his killers is very hard to understand. Laudable, and it�s probably the best thing she could do, for her own peace of mind, but mystifying all the same. And could I forgive them if it was my son? I can�t imagine ever forgiving them for that, if I was his father.

And look at that case in the papers today, the baby that was raped. How could any parent forgive the rapist for that? I�ve never been a supporter of capital punishment, but cases like that make me wonder...

[Nummy]

i agree it's impossibleto phyically forget...but i think it means for that you forgive a person...and then not hold it against them...act like you've forgotten by not throwing it in their face...and by not reminding them that you've forgiven them.

you've forgiven them...and moved on. the incident no longer matters

[woofgang]

well yes, but if you do any of those things, it could be argued that you still hold it against them, ie haven't actually forgiven them