Engagement - Which ring?

[myles76]

In 3 weeks time it's my partner's & mine 3 year anniversary and I'm arranging a surprise long weekend away to Monaco, as it's where we both first met each other.
I also plan to ask her to marry me. I've arranged everything so far, the hotel with sea view, flowers, how to get her bags packed without her knowing (what else are her best friends for�), and have even got her the time off from her work without her knowing � its been a real military operation!

Only problem is, the ring! - What to choose?

She's what I (and everyone who knows her) call a very English country girl and doesn't wear hardly any jewelry (not a "Bling" girl, by any means). And we live in deep country and are country active people (not that that has anything to do with anything)

In recent months I've caught her doing the "looking in jewelers' windows" thing, but that's not really helped me, as she won't give anything away. So in the end I got her 3 best friends to take her away one weekend, for a girly weekend, to drop a few hints for me to see what sort of thing she likes.
Here's the problem, she's always liked the yellow gold color and plainer style, and everybody who knows her well says that's ideal and would really suit her. However on this weekend away, what her friends came back with was that really liked platinum and blinggy (first time any of them had heard this from her) so we're all just wondering if this is just a phase as platinum seems to be in style at the moment.
Obviously, I don't want to get her the wrong thing, but at the same time I don't want her to be thinking: "I wish he'd got me the other style ��. "(Every man's problem, I'm sure)
And yes, I do know I can change it if I get it totally wrong � but that's not the point.

Suggestions please!!!!

[myles76]

Also, just to add:

Am I worrying too much about this? � My mates think I am and can�t believe the pains I�m going to, to get this weekend sorted out. But to me it�s a real important thing, not only is she the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I want it be a special occasion too, and seeing as she will be wearing it pretty much 100% of the time, I think the ring is kind of important too � Or is it just me going over the top?

[wolf63]

I really don't have an answer for you. I find it 'sweet' that you are thinking about this subject so thoughtfully. It really beats having the Argos catalogue thrown at you and getting told to pick a ring..

What about giving her a token ring - ie ring-pull and take her to pick a ring.

Let's face it as long as she says "YES" things will work out whatever you do.

[Rubyrose]

Ok I really don't know how to help! Maybe you could get all her friend to strike up a conversation about which ring they would like if they was engaged! I know my friend and me have had this conversation many times! It normal. Apparently engagment rings should have round cut diamonds coz they symbolise everlasting love! Good luck. :o)

[Quickstep]

What about buying a diamond and designing the ring together after you have asked her to marry you? She could have it set in whatever metal she chooses then and it can be however blingy she wants it!!

[B00]

What a sweetheart you sound Myles- do you fancy taking me instead? I'd be eternally grateful even if you presented me with a Christmas cracker plastic ring!

Seriously though- you can buy engagement rings that have both yellow and white gold in them.

Whatever you choose, she'll be delighted- good luck!

xxxxx

[Rubyrose]

LMFAO @ Boo

Quicksteps idea sounds really good :o)

[whiskeysheri]

Hi Myles. I worked in a jewellers for a couple of years and in all that time I think I only took care of two guys that were buying the ring without their girlfriend. It's really, really sweet what you're doing- I'd love it.

Ruby's suggestion is good, but if that doesn't work, I'd trust your instincts. You know her well enough.

Wolf's idea was also good, in that if you get her one she doesn't like she won't ever tell you, but this way she gets to pick one herself.

Let us know how it goes x

[Bohne]

I never got a ring when I got engaged, which was OK, since I never wear much jewellery, either.

What I might have liked, is doing it like in the old days where you use your wedding band as an engagement ring also, just wear it on the other hand.

[dancealot13]

Alright myles76- Listen UP ;) All girls and I mean all girls like diamonds. Not all girls like HUGE diamonds.(but it's better to be to big then too small) So don't think this is a faze- please! You are the sweetest thing to set all this up like that, its so romantic. Continue this romance with the ring..that's the most important. Treat her. It's ok that normally doesn't wear gaudy jewelry and she's not all bling bling...but she can have a beautiful diamond engagement ring that sparkles and signifies the love you share.

My opinion the princess cut dianomd sparkles more than any other cut and you can get it in many shapes. And if she is the out-doorsy type, get her a setting that is flatter, NOT raised too much. Raised settings get caught on everything. And as far as Gold vs. Platn. if you get it in Platn, and she wants it in Gold. You can always get it re-dipped in one or the other. But stick with what she pointed out on the weekend trip with her girlfriends. It came directly from her mouth so trust her ;)

But get her a nice diamond, she deserves it!! You are VERY romantic! Good luck!

[whiskeysheri]

It's actually the round brilliant cut diamond that is by far the most popular and has the best angles for which to shine maximum brilliance, because of the amount of facets. If you want the sparkliest diamond EVER, buy a LEO Diamond from Ernest Jones/ Leslie Davis. All diamonds are cut with a standard amount of facets, except these, they're not too bling either as they come in different carat sizes. x

[dancealot13]

Ladies ladies ladies!! Myles76 sounds a lot more romantic then all of you ;) I love you all and no offense but this guy is on a roll!!

Don't take her to pick out her ring. That's what you do when its your 10 year anniversary! That also goes with designing a ring. I love the idea, but it ruins the surprise, and I think most women will love the idea that the man took the time to pick out a ring that makes him think of her and how special and beautiful she is.

Don't get her a plane band because that's what she'll be wearing when she's older.

Myles76- You are fantastic! Trust yourself. There isn't enough romance in this world ;)

[nancie]

Gold definately, Platinum just looks silver. White gold is nice. It's got to be simple, with a stone in the middle, then she can wear it with anything. Whatever you get her she will like it, as you are asking to marry her. It won't matter,think too much and you'll have trouble bying one!

[dancealot13]

In the states Platinum has taken over Gold. White gold is popular as well, but white gold turns yellow after about 3 years, so you have to get it re-dipped, but its very cheap to do, and simple. I think white gold is just as pretty as platinum and a LOT cheaper.

[WendyS]

As a woman, can I offer my own word of advice? Your girlfriend is hopefully going to wear this ring for the rest of her life. What happens if she hates your taste, and feel that her girfriends had more of a share in its choice than she did and she has to pretend to be tactfully pleased with it.

Frankly I would have hated not to be able to choose my engagement ring myself and if one had been given to me as a surprise and I didn't like it, I wouldn't have worn it. I did choose it, but 25 years later my husband bought me a ring for our silver wedding anniversary. It wasn't what I would have chosen for myself and I have only worn it once.

Don't risk putting a blot on what should be a magical experience. Give her a lovely surprise proposal in Monaco and if she accepts, have the pleasure of choosing the ring she really wants to wear when you get home.

[mimififi]

my husband chose me an engagement ring and I hated it. I loved the sentiment and the idea and the thought, but the ring just was horrible Imo. So, after great pains of me trying to live with it, I eventually told him and he was fine about it and we went back to the shop and I got one that I did like and now I don't take it off (unless I'm bleaching something).

It is a piece of jewllery that you rarely take off and will have forever, maybe you could propose and everything and explain that you want her to pick it out, that she can have anything she wants.....etc.

good lukc and congratulations to you.

[dancealot13]

I understand Mimififi and Wendy. My boyfriend has superb taste so I would trust him to pick out a ring for me. But if she feels that strongly about picking her own ring out, don't you think she would have brought it up in conversation ? If she hasn't brought it up to him (myles76) or her girlfriends, I think it's safe to say she is comfortable with the old fashioned way of the man picking it out.

[myles76]

Wow � I don�t know what to say!!
I�m astonished at the reactions (esp. as I only posted this about an hour ago!!)

Firstly I never realized what a mine field choosing a ring would be and what a devastating affect getting the wrong one could be for some women!!
- I was given a watch by my partner for last years birthday, and even though I felt that its not the one I would have chosen for myself, deep down I know the effort and thought that she put into the present for me, and therefore I wear it all day, everyday � and that to me symbolizes something. Every time I just glance at it, I still get that stupid jelly feeling in my stomach just thinking about her.

I do like the ideas of the plastic ring /just asking her and then the two of choosing something together, but if im totally honest I think I�ll feel like something was missing from the weekend (unless of course, we choose something out there)

Thank you to you all for all your thoughts time and effort on this one, please keep them coming over the weekend � and sorry BOO, but I�m afraid firmly taken.
So I guess the next part of the question is, how to do it?
I have booked a champagne moonlight hot air balloon ride (for the 2nd night of the 4) that takes you out across the sea to watch fireworks. This was when I was planning to pop the question - except I�ve just realized, that it�s going to be her, me & some French guy (operating the balloon) in a 10x2 wicker basket!!!!!

Any Ideas?

And seriously, girls �are men really that rubbish at this kind of thing?? Whiskeysheri, seriously only 2 guys? I thought this was what guys did. What ever happened to good old fashioned romance?
� The way I see it is that I love this woman and want to spend the rest of my life with her, so the least I can do is put a little effort into asking her if she feels the same and wants to do something about it, or not??!!

[dancealot13]

Hi myles76- I haven't felt this passionate about a post in a long time! But Im so proud of you for being so romantic, and I want to make sure you are going to follow your instincts!

As far as the french guy being in the baloon. LOL I honestly don't think that will matter. Plus the idea of you being "On top of the World"...you can use that in your little speach by the way ;) but I think that will be very romantic. Tell the guy before you go, and make sure he keeps to himself. It could work.

Whats your back-up idea?

[myles76]

Hey dancealot (great name by the way)

Glad to hear its made you feel passion!!

No back up plan as yet, I guess the other idea was going for a walk back on the same beach where we first met etc .... Just don't want it to be too cheesy!!

I must dash now - off to Dublin with the boys for a weekend of Rugby & Guinness, but I will be back on here Tuesday to collect all your thoughts and give updates - Thanks you so much

Happy Easter to all!!

xx

[Litchick]

MYLES - I LOVE the hot air balloon! PERFECT! And what makes it more perfect is that it was YOUR ORIGINAL IDEA!!! DO IT!

As for the ring, all I can say is that I LOVED that I was surprised but to be fair I gave my now-husband a picture of the ring a year prior. I gave it to him "just in case" and never mentioned it to him again so I was delighted that I was suprised but did get the ring I wanted. I like the idea of asking her (with a token ring if that's what will make it feel like a complete weekend for you) and then take her to pick out one she likes.

You are so wonderfully romantic! Can't wait to hear how it went!!!! :)