why don't all of us care ?

[whitbybabe]

My Mum and I today helped an elderly man who had fallen in the snow and could not get up.People had actually walked past him and did nothing ! I was furious but had to put my anger aside to help this old guy.We took an arm each and walked him back home,which was about 200 yards.His front door was UNLOCKED, and i opened it and saw a stairlift.I got him onto it and he said he would be ok.I assume he had a key to a first floor flat.I closed his front door and Mum and I walked back to where we had parked when we found him.It has been on my mind ever since.I feel like I am about to cry thinking about that lovely old man,living all alone when he should be getting a lot more care.He had written the word ' stew ' on his hand and was near the shops when we found him,so I am assuming that he was going to get himself some food.I am torturing myself now as I keep thinking that he will have nothing to eat tonight.I have always been a very caring person and always put others before myself,that is just the way I am.But I can't understand how anyone could just walk past somebody who obviously needs help.It's really tearing me to pieces,and nobody apart from me can see the problem.I am like this with my own Mum as she has not been well,and I go to see her every day and get her what she needs.Sometimes I take her out,I cut her hair and do odd jobs for her, as I do with my Husbands Grandma.
Do I care too much ?

[saxy_jag]

No you don't, and I like to think I would have done the same thing. After all, I like to think that if it was me or one of my relatives in a similar situation, someone would step in to help. I think it was Harriet Beecher Stowe who said, "what point is there is in life if we cannot make someone else's a little happier?"

Could you not pop back and check up on the man? If you don't know his exact address, maybe a neighbour could help you? You could perhaps take him maybe a bar of chocolate or a tin of something, and check whether he has family to look after him. Again, if it was an elderly relly of mine, I wouldn't mind one little bit.

[cyanide]

I agree with_jag,you could always ask one of his neighbours to go with you.I had a similar experience a few years ago,a man fell out of his wheelchair and my son and i crossed 2 main roads to get to him to pick him up while people just walked past.The world needs people who care,well done whitbybabe and your mum.xxx

[cyanide]

sorry should have addressed you properly saxy_jag.

[whitbybabe]

Thank you for your thoughts.I have a strong feeling I will be checking on him soon.

[joko]

i had a similar thing happen.
an old lady had fallen onto her kness and couldn't get herself up.
some people had walked passed her too.
she had hurt her arm and would not let go of her dogs lead, shopping bags, trolley and handbag ( fair enough) but i couldn't help her up, without holding her arm, so eventually i walked behind her and put my arms round her shoulders - like a bear hug - and lifted her up so she could just straighten her legs.

she looked at me like i was mad and seemed horrified - perhaps concerned that i was so strong to just pick her up with ease (she was a wide lady ) and was perhaps about to attack and over power her, she snatched the tomatoes that i had retrieved for her from me, as though i was going to steal them, but then realised she couldn't manage all her shopping bags, her full trolley and the dog, as i think her hand was quite badly hurt.
i tried to take the dog for her but she wouldn't let me even though i could see her wince every time the dog pulled on the lead.
i was a bit confused then i realised that she was using the dog lead to prevent me stealing her handbag, which was over her wrist.
i tried to get her to go to the docs which was about 200 yards away, but she wouldn't.
i carried her shopping to her house and when we arrived she insisted i get her male neighbour before she would let me help her any further.
he came out and stared at me like i was some kind of scum bag, and seemed on super alert, watching me like a hawk as we walked to her house. (why he didn't just take the stuff from me i don't know)
cont...

[joko]

she invited me in for some reason, i was happy to pass her over to his care, but she insisted.
perhaps she relaxed a bit that she was now safe and could be a bit nicer to me.
she told me to sit down, then pretty much ignored me for about 5 minutes, telling him what had happened and how i had helped - he grunted and made 'ah, did she now' type noises, that sounded like he was saying ' whats she after' he then made her and him a cuppa and then i just said i had to go.
i got a rather lazy 'thanks bye' and walked out, as i shut the door behind me a saw him quickly come to the kitchen door and peek through a gap, watching me to make sure i didn't nick anything.



so while i would do it again and help someone every time, and though i can't blame her for being cautious - anyone would be, i am a stranger - i left feeling like crap, as opposed to having done a good deed, because they made a huge display of not trusting me despite what i had just done.
i would expect some caution, and expected her to want me to fetch someone else, but not such an outward display of outright of distrust.

at the time i was a 24 year old woman, not some scally thug

[luna-tic]

On the run-up to Christmas of 2004 my Brother and myself were on foot posting cards to some friends who lived about half a mile away.It was a bitterly cold evening but we enjoyed the fresh air.On our return to our house along a main road there is a long hedgerow with a gully in front. Suddenly we both heard this strange sound.Looking in the vicinity of the noise,we heard it again.We peered into the gully and the next second a hand appeared from the mounds of leaves and branches in the ravine.My brother shouted,"There's someone down there!!"
We grabbed the hand and an old man's face come out of the leaves.He said, "Help me". So we carefully climbed down and eased him out. He had been drinking heavily and tripped and fell backward into the dip. As we were trying to help him out, a load of people walked past us and we asked if they could assist and they ignored us.
We managed to get him back to his house which would of been a 15minute walk for us but it took 45 minutes because he was falling about all over the place but amazingly apart from a couple of scratches he seemed okay. I didn't think until the next day that he could of died as the night turned to freezing. As you said, whitbybabe I was very annoyed those people didn't even try to help us but I'm glad I helped the old man home. No one can care too much but strangely some people turn away from such situations. Ultimately it's their decision.

[redcrx]

i would always stop and help someone in need if i could though around here the majority of people would. My partner and i stopped the car one day when we saw an elderly woman take a tumble on the pavement and everyone else in the vicinty ran to assist as well. The woman was fine and assured us was just a bit embrassed.

we've also stopped the car when we saw a woman parked a bit precariously at side of road crying in obvious distress. My boyfriend turned our car around and parked at safe distance with hazards on approached her car so that she could see him coming. He had a quick chat to her to make sure she was ok and safe. Turns out she had just moved to this country and had just taken a call to say that her dog had died in quarentine. she calmed down sufficiently to thank my boyfriend for his concern and drive away. The quick stop meant we missed our ferry home and delayed us by 3 hours but we didnt mind at all

[whitbybabe]

Thanks again for your replies.Just to let you know that I contacted Social Services and they replied to me today saying thanks for bringing it to their attention and that they are going to assess him. So,all in all I am am a lot happier than I was yesterday.And YES,I would do it all again !!

[Ollie_P]

 Whitbybabe, I wish there were more of you in this world.

[mosesg]

whitbybabe I would do the same as you as I would like to think someone would do the same for my Grandad. I have helped an elderly gentleman who fell at the bus stop beside my house one day I was on the way back to my house with shopping and I just dropped the shopping and my handbag and ran to help him. I helped him up and a young gentleman was passing in his van stopped to help as well. A woman who knew him came in about and the gentleman in the van and her helped him home. I was concerned about him but the only thing that went through my mind was I hoped I hadn't hurt him lifting him up as I have no experience of lifting elderly people, I also wondered if I could have done more as he was obviously going somewhere, maybe I should have offered to run his errand for him