No. its not exceptable for women to hit men and vice versa.
It does seem that men hitting women is highlighted more than women hitting men, why i don't know.
As for how far i would go if i was provoked by my partner, well i've never ever hit a woman and i never ever will, i would leave her, some might say thats a bit drastic, but thats what i would do, it baffles me how/why someone would want to stay in a relationship with violence in it, yes i know someone will say its because i love them or its because of the children etc etc, well if you LOVED SOMEONE you would'nt hit them, and if you stay because of ''THE CHILDREN'' you are exposing them to the violence which really ain't right