Emotional 9 year old daughter!

[mifta]

My daughter has recently turned 9 years old. She is well liked by parents and teachers, praised for being kind and caring about others, and on the whole a very good natured child. However, She seems to be finding it difficult with other kids at school. She has friends and aquaintances but has started to get upset because she doesn't have a best friend, and everyone else has. I have observed her with some of the other kids and I have noticed that they seem to leave her out alot. She does stammer a bit and can be a bit long winded with explanations and I suspect that some of the kids are getting fed up with her as she is less mature than some of the others. Some of you would say, chill out, kids are kids, but it is beginning to get me down and I am sure I am making her worse. Any ideas on how to support her as she is getting quite upset about this?
Thanks

[Black Noir]

Does she do any after school activities where she would meet a different set of friends, ie Brownies, football my Daughter who is also 9 bonded in a differenet way with a new set of girls because they all had something in common (other than school) and once she had built up confidence doing these activities that she enjoyed it transposed into her school life.

[mifta]

She has recently started Brownies, and does seem to enjoy it, so hopefully it will impact on her school relationships.

[Black Noir]

Im sure it will once she starts going on Brownie activitie days and camp etc.

Plus you know what girls are like at this age, my daughter is forever falling in and out of friendships with the girls at school.

Use this opportunity to form a stronger maternal bond with her and treat her more maturely and encourage her to feel more confident about herself perhaps with a more grown up haircut (if she has had it the same for a few years) or have a fun day out with her, go out for breakfast and go and get your nails done togther for example! If she feels confident about herself this will be also be portrayed to others.

Good Luck BN

[society]

Tell your daughter to continue to be her kind, sweet self. She is a child, tell her to enjoy her childhood and not to be in a hurry to grow up too fast and behave like the other kids.

[tigwig]

mifta, your daughter sounds like a lovely caring girl try not to worry too much. I think if you just carry on being supportive and be there for her if there's anything she needs to talk about and continue to build up her self esteem by praising her. Is there anything else she likes doing? Maybe swimming or dancing she could join clubs and make new friends or is there anyone who lives in your street? Good luck I am sure she will be fine and it could be a good thing that she has lots of friends instead of just one it shows how easy she is to get along with.

[tiny e.a]

Please don'y get worried about it, your daughter will pick up on it and may feel that she's failing you because you want her to have more friends. As the others say, just support her, if you fret about it it will only make her anxious.

I would also advise you to talk to her teacher, see if she has noticed any nastiness towards your daughter or if she herself is concerned by her lack of socialising. My mum teaches this age range and she is very aware of what's going on because she knows that the little girls can be quite cruel with their, 'your my best friend and your not my friend' jibes. Your daughters teacher will probably be the same. If your daughter is upset by anything occuring at school the teachers should definitely be told.