Do many families still do this?

[wendilla]

I know this was quite common years ago taking your loved one back to house a few days before the funeral.but was surprised to see some families still do this. This has happened with a gentleman in my street.His wife has brought him back home till the funeral.

[bednobs]

when my daughter died, we briefly considered having her at home with us the night before the funeral, but in the end decided not to because it was 2 weeks after she had died, and the middle of summer. Sometimes i really regret we didn't bring her home, but other times i'm glad

[tinkerbell23]

Yeah we do. Absolutley! Find it strange when people dont! X

[tinkerbell23]

Ps...im scottish, and not just my family, most families where i stay do, and when it was my papa he was home for 3 days, my mum thought that was excessive but it comforted my gran, i was 15/16 and kissed him. Have now done same with my best friends aunt, and young cousin who passed at 24. Its a comfort to our families and if god forbid my parents or grandparents died tomorrow, they would come home xx

[crisgal]

my friend lost her 10 year old son and had him in the house, with an open coffin, the night before the funeral.
They had a kind of party, playing his favourite music etc.
I just couldn't understand it at all. The poor little boy had drowned and that must have affected the way he looked.
I was invited but didn't go. I've never been able to ask her what he looked liked.
She just said she couldn't bear the thought of him on his own.

[dotty.]

My Mum and my Dad both were brought to the house by the undertaker prior to the funeral and the coffins were set up in the spare bedroom.. That was where we were able to see them for the last time and add small tokens to the coffins. Mum in 2000 and Dad in 2005. I didn't consider it an issue at the time. Come to think of it my Mother-in-Law was brought to her house in the coffin the night before as her sister stayed with her all night.
In all 3 cases, the lids were not put on until the very last minutes before the hearse was due to leave.

[funnygirl]

No way.
I haven't heard of anyone doing this in my area or even London.

[flobadob]

It's the done thing in Ireland for sure.

[dotty.]

funnygirl, my Father and Mother In law and all their relatives were from Fulham, Hounslow, isleworth, Stepney, Whitchapel and everywhere along the arterial, and they all did that.

[wendilla]

Yes this is why I put the question up as I had not heard of it being done recently. I know it was done years ago but wasn't sure if it still was carried on.

[dotty.]

The last one was Uncle Ted who died last year and he lived in Romford after he retired and they had his coffin at home the day before the funeral, my ex husband went as it was his Uncle.

[DTCwordfan]

A man is standing on a street corner in Northern England when this strange sight of two coffins being carried followed by a long single line of fifty or sixty men, no women, came down the street. The man, who is evidently the lead mourner, has a large pitbull on a lead walking next to him.

The man was curious and shouted out to the lead mourner, dressed in black, "Excuse me Sir on your day of grief, but this is a weird sight, two coffins and a long line of male mourners. What happened?"

"No problem, the first coffin is that of my wife. My pitbull here attacked her."
"Oh, I am so sorry to hear that, and the second?"
"That is my mother in law. She intervened and the dog grabbed her by the throat."
"Oh, that is tragic."

The man thinks for a few seconds, "Sir, may I borrow your dog perhaps?"

"Back of the line with you, Back of the line!"

[wolf63]

DT ;-)

I have heard of people having the deceased in the house before the funeral, but I have to admit that I thought that it was mainly in Ireland or here in the 'olden days'.

I am in no way squeamish about death and the aftermath - but I think that I would still feel a little uncomfortable being in the house with a dead person.

I am in the east of Scotland. I am a Catholic/Protestant/Atheist/Jedi hybrid.

[dotty.]

The undertaker who came to make the arrangements for Mum asked us all what we wanted to do I suppose, and Dad said he wanted her home the morning of the funeral, we just did the same thing for Dad. It was good for their relatives who lived far away that came, they all wanted to see them, I remember when my Grandma died in 1977 in Todmorden we hadn't seen her for a month or so before she died suddenly and so when we went over for the funeral she was in an open coffin., it was a chance to say goodbye properly.

[DTCwordfan]

Apart from the areas mentioned, the Dutch do it as well - in the older farm houses, there is a tradition that the only time the front door is opened is when there is a death and that friend etc use gthe back door.

Apart from the 'housing' of the body, there used to be also a tradition in the more "Puritan" areas that funerals were for men only, not even the wife attends......My paternal grandfather was buried that way.

[LoftyLottie]

Russian Orthodox funeral meant my father in law lay in an open coffin for the funeral service and we all had to go and kiss him goodbye. He looked quite peaceful and lovely and it didn't bother me a bit.

I need to see loved ones after they die, but have not been in a posiiton to consider whether I would have an open coffin in the house. I don't think it would worry me.

[joko]

yes i think its a horrible thing - especially for children - the visual image must be a lasting one for them as they wont have so many memories to replace it

i have never seen one myself, but my nan was taken home and i most certainly didnt not want my lasting memory of her to be lying dead...i also have quite a photographic memory and i know that from then on whenver she was mentioned that is what i would picture...
in fact it still - even though i didnt see her - i imagined her...and thats enough

[wolf63]

I was with my mum when she died in hospital - she didn't peaceful at all. She had been ill for a long time and looked pale and ill.

I found my dad dead in his house, he was still in his bed and had been dead 12-18 hours. He looked really peaceful and serene.

Bringing either body back to the house was never considered and the funeral directors never suggested it.

[Mamyalynne]

Absolutely agree with Headwreck, when my husband died I asked the funeral directors to delay picking him up, so all the family who wished could come and say goodbye. He was here at home for 8 hours after death and the Grandchildren played merrily around his bed sang him songs and covered up his cold hands.
same at the funeral they all put something in for him to take to heaven and kissed him then blew bubbles at the graveside, if we make death alarming that will stay with them always.