Do many families still do this?

[wendilla]

I know this was quite common years ago taking your loved one back to house a few days before the funeral.but was surprised to see some families still do this. This has happened with a gentleman in my street.His wife has brought him back home till the funeral.

[dotty.]

It's hard enough writing about it but also disturbing and upsetting that people are criticising it and making it out to be somehow not the 'done' thing, wish i had not contributed now wendilla

[Mamyalynne]

Oh no Dotty, you have made very valid points, I see it as what the family wants is right and proper. We will never get all to agree however.

[LoftyLottie]

Agree with Mamya and headwreck. Death is part of life and it is so much easier to come to terms with it if the person is not rushed away to an undertakers never to be seen again. I sat at length with my grandmother, father and mother. Grandmother died at home but my parents were both in hospital, but the time I spent with them afterwards was very precious and helped me so much.

As a child too, when pets died I liked to have them around for a while - it helped to come to terms with it and to show that death is not a dreadful thing to be frightened of.

But each to his own on this. We are all different.

[wendilla]

Thank you all for your different ideas on this subject.I am amazed that this is still carried out as much and as loftielotti says it is up to each individual as to how they want this carried out.

[Mamyalynne]

I think it has been a very enlightening discussion and may even help others decide how they may deal with this in the future.

[craft1948]

I once went to a mate's house, wandered through the living room and into the kitchen. Sat and had a cup of tea and a natter, and it was only on the way out I realised her father was dead and laid out in his coffin in the lounge.............nobody had even mentioned it!

[mrs.chappie]

I can remember this happening with my grandparents .... their eyes were covered with pennies. I remember my mum handing me the pennies and holding me up to place them on the body. I was frightened, and mum told me, "Don't be scared of the dead - they can't hurt you. It's the living you need to be scared of".

By the time mum died things must've changed, as I don't recall this being an option. Mum spent her last night on earth in the church she'd always worshipped at, when she was alive.

[katerich48]

My Nan was brought to our house after she died and "laid in state" for a few days until the funeral. People came up to see her and to pay their respects...And during that time we weren't allowed any television and as she was in our bedroom (which had been emptied out) we stayed nearby with relatives although we went home for meals etc after school., I often used to pop in and see her...The experience stopped me from being squeamish about seeing other dead relatives

[katerich48]

Just to add the one thing that did upset me was on the day of her funeral - the undertakers came in to screw on the lid - It was then I realised I wouldn't be seeing her again and that's when I became upset - But other than that it seemed perfectly normal to have her at home with us rather than left in the undertakers on her own.

[joko]

i suppose thats the porblem headwreck - we both have very different views and theres no way off knowing how someone mght take it unitl its too late, and making kids look can be traumatising - it should be their choice

you are lucky you have that view of death, but i was brought up to fear it, having to hear all my dads an families stupid superstitions etc - wont wear black etc.
i was never told about my grandads or nans deaths...for over 6 years , they had 'gone the shops'...i eventually found out from a sneering cousin...

i suppose also it depends on the condition on the body too.

[pretty_snowdrop]

Its not something my family have done. However my hubbys family are catholic and they bring the body home they evening before the funeral for a wake. All the deceased family and friends go and see the body and have a drink and a get together. Not for me though, i keep well away.