I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off.
So I ran over and said 'Stop! don't do it!'
'Why shouldn't I?' he said.
I said, 'Well, there's so much to live for!'
He said, 'Like what?'
I said, 'Well...are you religious or atheist?'
He said, 'Religious.'
I said, 'Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?'
He said, 'Christian.'
I said, 'Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?'
He said, 'Protestant.'
I said, 'Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?'
He said, 'Baptist!'
I said, 'Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?'
He said, 'Baptist Church of God!'
I said, 'Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?'
He said, 'Reformed Baptist Church of God!'
I said, 'Me too! Are you reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?'
He said, 'Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!'
I said, 'Die, you heretic scum,' and I pushed him off.
citation: Emo Phillips