A question for Muslim men: why virgins?

[chakka35]

I’m not talking just about the 72 virgins (actually white raisins) promised to suicide bombers as a reward for their murderous atrocities. I gather that ordinary law-abiding Muslim men require their brides to be virgins too and can divorce them on their wedding night if they turn out not to be so.

What is the appeal of the virgin?

It cannot be virginity itself since that soon disappears. I can’t help thinking (and I would be happy to be proved wrong) that it has nothing to do with love or even sex but is a matter of possession. The man insists on knowing that he is the first to ‘possess’ the woman and will not have her if he has already been ‘possessed’ by another man. Is this so? If not, what is it?

(On a frivolous note, give me an experienced woman every time. I go along with Professor Harold Hill, played so brilliantly by Robert Preston in “The Music Man”, who sings:

“I flinch, I shy, when the lass with the delicate air goes by.
I smile, I grin, when the gal with a touch of sin walks in”.)

But the question itself is meant seriously.

[Canary42]

Not just Muslims, it was a prevalent view amongst Victorian Society in England. A not uncommon view (highly hypocritical of course) with highly Patriarchical societies - the men can sleep around but the bride must be inviolate.

[ludwig]

Chakka, wasn't it professor Harold Hill that said 'I like virgins, and I also like an experienced woman, but which is better? there's only one way to find out'.
?

[woofgang]

Its a practical thing. men want children of their own blood. Therefore a virgin wife is the best effort to ensure this.

[woofgang]

I meant historically....

[ichkeria]

What is the appeal of the virgin? I don't think only 'Muslim men' need have a stab at answering that one lol

[Booldawg]

I can see the appeal. If I'm totally useless at it, they're not to know!

[sir.prize]

Do those expecting 72 virgins really think there is a Playboy Club in paradise?

[jomifl]

Perhaps the obsession with virgins is related to inheritance. It is only recently that the British royal family have conceded that it is OK for the heir to the throne to marry a non-virgin. It used to be believed that if a woman had sex prior to her marriage then the descendants bloodline would be 'contaminated' or 'diluted'. I can't imagine that muslims were any less ignorant. Nowadays of course they are all well educated and open minded so that cannot be the reason, probably just an excuse for a bunch of paedophile pervs.

[WaldoMcFroog]

Well, if they are, so too must be the evangelical Christians that encourage saving one's virginity until marriage.

[chakka35]

ludwig, no he didn't. Professor Howard Hill is the name of the pnoney music man the show/film of that name. His reference to such things is in the smashing number called "The Sadder but Wiser Girl" and he doesn't mention virgins though much is implied.

[mibn2cweus]

Chakka, With all due respect, your inquiry brings to mind a . . . deeper question?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VY_mSeZpyas

[evedawn]

Well not only Muslims. I think it's a hope alot of men secretly wish. Deep down a think most men would want to be the first and perhaps this is because insecurely they wonder if their partner may be making comparisons??? I foughtsnyen would ADMIT that but ... I think that's what they wish?!

[evedawn]

My brothers were both virgins when they married as we're their wives. I admire them greatly for sticking to their Christian faith. Me??? Well I'm certainly was not that strong and couldnt wait to discover errrmmmm the joys of it all.. Long long before I settled down and married.

[sandyRoe]

Could Heaven and Hell exist simultaneously in the same place? Having 72 virgins dancing attendance on his every whim might be heaven for the man but hell for the women involved.

[jake-the-peg]

It's a rther old fashioned male prejudice I think - possibly born out of insecurity, possibly some sort of bizarre status thing like owning a second hand car as opposed to a new one.

When I was at school in the 80's (all male, private and pretty exclusively white and middle class) I remember a RE teacher asking us how many of us expected to be virgins when we got married, almost nobody put their hand up.

He then asked how many people would expect their bride to be - to my astonishment about two thirds put their hand up.

He then proceded to draw a rather mathematically spurious conclusion from that!

I guess it was a long time ago and we were all rather niaive but I think it does illustrate that "the virgin thing" is quite deep seated and perhaps more multicultural than you would think

[dotty.]

no I think it might have been Harry Hill ludwig meant lol

[Bazile]

//I gather that ordinary law-abiding Muslim men require their brides to be virgins too and can divorce them on their wedding night if they turn out not to be so. //

How does the groom verify that then - does he have a gynecologist standing by on the wedding night ?

[Bazile]

//...Well I'm certainly was not that strong and couldnt wait to discover errrmmmm the joys of it all.. Long long before I settled down and married.

Well evedawn - was the discovery all that it was cracked up to be ?

[ludwig]

// ludwig, no he didn't. Professor Howard Hill is the name of the pnoney music man the show/film of that name //

Ok thanks - you called him Harold in the OP though which is what confused me.

[vulcan]

I wonder if the Muslim men would feel cheated if their 72 virgins turned out to be Roman catholic nuns?