The Cat

[Rondy]

The local pub was at the heart of village life. Everyone met there and the atmosphere was convivial. Except for one thing. The pub cat! It brushed against the customers, covering their trousers with cat hairs, and putting it's dirty paw prints on the seats.
Then, one night it committed the Cardinal sin! It decided to claim it's territory in the way tom cats do, by spraying all over the shop!
The publican totally lost it, throwing the animal out and slamming the door behind it! Unfortunately the cat's tail caught caught in the door and was pulled off! The cat ran off into the night, never to return.
After a few days the barman placed a glass case containing the tail on a shelf behind the bar. It was quite a talking point with the locals, especially when tourists asked about the story.

One night, as the barman was stacking up the washed glasses when they had closed, he heard a noise. Turning round, he saw an eerie sight. It was the ghost of the cat.
"What do you want?" asked the terrified man.
"Take my tail from that case and give it back to me, otherwise I can't get into Pets Heaven!"
"I'm sorry, but I can't do that." was the reply.
"And why not?" asked the cat.
"Because it's against the law to re-tail spirits after eleven pm!!"

[1ozzy]

That was rather long winded for a dad joke.

But I liked it,,

[johnny.5]

probably
a Tom Collins

[murraymints]

Coat !