Crocodile
A bloke walks into a bar, in a strange town, with a small crocodile under his arm, and asks the barman for a Guinness and a cherry on a stick.
soon as the barman sees the croc' he asks him to leave.
"why's that? she's no trouble" says the bloke.
"look mate, I'm only the relief manager here, and the last thing i need on my cv is a customer losing an arm or a foot while I'm in charge, so if you don't mind, or even if you do, b***** **f, and don't ever come back with a dangerous animal again."
"look mate, she's a big pussycat really", and with that he puts the croc on the bar, drops his trousers, and put his wedding tackle across the evilly tooothed jaws. reaching across the bar, he picks up a bottle of bud, and cracks the croc on the back of the head with it. not a flinch, not a snap.
"look , i told you, she's as soft as a rug, no chance of her harming anyone"
the barman thinks for a second, and gauges public opinion around him, "well. she's well trained with you, but what with strangers?"
a little voice pipes up from a dark corner of the room, "I'll try it too, just don't hit me on the head as hard as that."