Double Life

[Nicky130271]

Hi - first time here - I'm 43 and been with my current partner since nov 2011 we worked together I never was interested in him until he asked me out and i fell totally in love with him in April 2012 I found out he was cheating on me so I ended the relationship he was relentless in winning me back so by October we talked and agreed to move forward. He has a son of 9 and his parents have custody of his son so 3 nights a week he'd spend the night at his parents or so I thought. On 5th July this year two days before our supposed engagement I found out this relationship with the woman he had cheated on me previously with had never in fact ended - he has in fact berm leading a double life - telling me he's seeing his son and telling her the same story - needless to say I let her know and she was shocked as I was! Since then he has spent every night with me and has been the perfect partner but I'm in a living nightmare I can't get out of my head the deceit and lies he has done and worst of all I fell pregnant in April but lost the baby at 10 weeks so whilst I was lying in my own in my bed he was lying in hers as I was pregnant. I'm in a mess - can you ever recover from something like this.

[FrogNog]

I'm sorry (and I don't usually post in this section) but he needs to go. Now.

[FrogNog]

And yes, you can. It is his behaviour that has caused your lack of self esteem but the truth is, you have allowed him to do this to you.
Stop permitting his behaviour and the real you will come back in time. You will wonder what on earth you were thinking.
Time and friends are what you need, not him. From what I've seen , and it isn't much, this site is good for supporting people when they need it.
Good luck and stay strong.

[black_cat51]

i can't imagine a relationship could survive this sort of thing, but if you are happy to accept it, and that it will happen again then you can probably get past it

[boxtops]

I don't know about recover, but you can put it behind you - if you can. Will you always wonder where he is, any night he's not with you? So sorry to hear about your miscarriage - that's bad enough, without this behaviour on your mind too.

If it were me, I don't think I'd want to know any more. He lied to you about something as basic as this. It's only three weeks ago that you found out - that's not very long for him to now be spending all his time with you. I don't think I could take it.

[anneasquith]

sorry, I'd say no.

[kvalidir]

So sorry for what's happened to you. I would personally not forgive this as I think he's lied to you horribly once and therefore he's quite capable of doing it again...and again...and again.
We all deserve better than that and somewhere there is someone who won't treat you that way so give yourself time, understand none of this was your fault and try to move on.

[Sqad]

"Can you ever recover?"

I don't know......can you?

That is entirely up to you......if you are going to go on and on about his indiscretions, then no, you will never " recover."

Almost ALL families have their " skeletons" and love a useful life in co-existence, providing you give it a chance.

[murraymints]

Well ..what a mess..I'd say get rid, run as fast as you can...he's NOT to be trusted, he'll lie and cheat again , without doubt ...Good luck ...take care xx

[kimjack]

being a girl I can understand your problem but we should try to judge a person on our certain reference points which allow us to believe on them and some thing is happened which you faced and came to know that I am cheated by man .please before friendship or indulge with man have one thing in mind that till my satisfaction I will not cross limit of me

[pusskin]

I would not give him a second chance, as he could do it all over again...NO

[jennyjoan]

If you want loyalty and commitment in a relationship - you must get rid - know of a man (relative) had two or three women on the go at the one time most of his life - he ended up being single (his choice) but he did cheat and he never ever felt guilty - actually lapped it up.