Family & Relationships5 mins ago
Why Has
Why has no one invented bubble wrap where the bubbles are filled with helium so that your packages are lighter and thus cheaper to post?
I used to be scared about digging for coal but now I have bigger phobias. So that's just a miner one.
Why wash towels, aren't we clean when we use them?
If only I had been born a Lego brick.
I could have made something of my life.
At my last job interview, I told my interviewer that I plan to give 110%.
Unfortunately, I was applying to be a statistician.
A lady on a train was reading a newspaper article about Life and Death Statistics.
Fascinated, she turned to the man sitting next to her and said, "did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?"
"Really?" he said, "have you tried mouthwash?"
There's a sign at the local pub that says 'Watch Football Live Here.'
So how come after a match I get kicked out when I bring down my blanket and mattress
I can't understand why people think capital punishment is too harsh, I was in London only this weekend and it wasn't that bad.
My husband said he's leaving me because of my unhealthy obsession with plants.
I said where's this stemming from petal?
My partner has just texted me saying, "Come home now if you want an extravaganza.” I'm really excited, I don't even know what a Vaganza is.
I was in the pub celebrating winning £100 million on the lottery when my ex walked in and demanded half.
I said, "Sure, it's the least I can do"
He said, "What, are you serious? Thank you, thank you so much"
I said, "Alright love, calm down. Fosters or Carling?"
I used to be scared about digging for coal but now I have bigger phobias. So that's just a miner one.
Why wash towels, aren't we clean when we use them?
If only I had been born a Lego brick.
I could have made something of my life.
At my last job interview, I told my interviewer that I plan to give 110%.
Unfortunately, I was applying to be a statistician.
A lady on a train was reading a newspaper article about Life and Death Statistics.
Fascinated, she turned to the man sitting next to her and said, "did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?"
"Really?" he said, "have you tried mouthwash?"
There's a sign at the local pub that says 'Watch Football Live Here.'
So how come after a match I get kicked out when I bring down my blanket and mattress
I can't understand why people think capital punishment is too harsh, I was in London only this weekend and it wasn't that bad.
My husband said he's leaving me because of my unhealthy obsession with plants.
I said where's this stemming from petal?
My partner has just texted me saying, "Come home now if you want an extravaganza.” I'm really excited, I don't even know what a Vaganza is.
I was in the pub celebrating winning £100 million on the lottery when my ex walked in and demanded half.
I said, "Sure, it's the least I can do"
He said, "What, are you serious? Thank you, thank you so much"
I said, "Alright love, calm down. Fosters or Carling?"
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