Time For A Laugh
I had a secret meeting with a detective last night.
He said it was better if I didn't know his name, then extended his hand for me to shake.
That was a bit of a giveaway, Inspector Gadget.
I took this personality test on the internet, and it said... "Describe yourself in one word."
I answered, "Not good at following instructions."
I've deleted so much History on my computer it doesn't even know who the Romans were.
A librarian knocked on my door and asked to borrow a book on irony.
Just bought a coat with elbow patches,
I didn't even know they were legal tender. The West Bank. The favourite holiday destination of Reverend Spooner.
I've created a perfume out of potatoes.
It's got a crisp scent.
I'm sick of people telling me I'm a weakling so tonight I went to the gym.
After a light warm up, I steadied myself; put both hands on the metal bar and heaved with all my might. I strained and I strained but still, no matter how hard I tried, I could not get it to budge.
Eventually one of the burly staff members came over and said... "Stop pulling on the door mate, we're closed."
I got up this morning and ran around the block 4 times! Then I got tired, so I picked it up and put it back in the toy box!
I booked a flight the other day and the lady said, “What side do you want to sit on" and I said “The inside"
My pet elk has vanished, one moment it was in the garden next moment vamoose