Food & Drink0 min ago
Relationship over but am I really to blame?
53 Answers
Hi everyone
I just found this website and read some posts and everyone seems nice and gives straight talking answers so I thought I'd ask for some advice. Sorry it's going to be a long one.
My partner and I were together about a year, he was previously in a marriage and has 2 kids. Now he blames me for everything that went wrong in our relationship saying I started arguments every 2 days and while this is true I can explain the reasoning behind it.
My ex lives with various 'mates' but I'm not allowed to know where, his explanation is that it's his friends properties and he should not give out the details.
He has secret phone calls and texts to his 'ex' which I don't like, if you have nothing to hide then why not answer the calls in front of me?
He can not talk to me on the phone if someone is around him again his reasoning is he does not want people to know his business.
Constantly lets me down, we can say we are going to do something then he fobs me off to go be with mates or 'ex'. I walked to a shopping centre 5 miles from my house in the snow cos he failed to turn up he went to his mates instead and even though I was ringing him and texting crying he didnt care just carried on doing what he was doing. But his 'ex' just has to call and say she sneezed and he's there.
Oh and he keeps 'borrowing' the 'exes' car even though he knows I HATE IT and refuse to get in it.
I have not been an angel my ex once sent me some dirty text messages and a picture but I did not ask for it I did not reply to it and cut off all contact with him but my current ex KEEPS bringing it up saying it was all my fault I left myself open to it.
He hates me chatting to guys even though I get on better with them which he knew from the start.
So am I in the wrong? Did I screw up ou relationship?
Thanks
I just found this website and read some posts and everyone seems nice and gives straight talking answers so I thought I'd ask for some advice. Sorry it's going to be a long one.
My partner and I were together about a year, he was previously in a marriage and has 2 kids. Now he blames me for everything that went wrong in our relationship saying I started arguments every 2 days and while this is true I can explain the reasoning behind it.
My ex lives with various 'mates' but I'm not allowed to know where, his explanation is that it's his friends properties and he should not give out the details.
He has secret phone calls and texts to his 'ex' which I don't like, if you have nothing to hide then why not answer the calls in front of me?
He can not talk to me on the phone if someone is around him again his reasoning is he does not want people to know his business.
Constantly lets me down, we can say we are going to do something then he fobs me off to go be with mates or 'ex'. I walked to a shopping centre 5 miles from my house in the snow cos he failed to turn up he went to his mates instead and even though I was ringing him and texting crying he didnt care just carried on doing what he was doing. But his 'ex' just has to call and say she sneezed and he's there.
Oh and he keeps 'borrowing' the 'exes' car even though he knows I HATE IT and refuse to get in it.
I have not been an angel my ex once sent me some dirty text messages and a picture but I did not ask for it I did not reply to it and cut off all contact with him but my current ex KEEPS bringing it up saying it was all my fault I left myself open to it.
He hates me chatting to guys even though I get on better with them which he knew from the start.
So am I in the wrong? Did I screw up ou relationship?
Thanks
Answers
Best Answer
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Read your post through as if it was written by someone you didn't know - what would you advise them?
" I walked to a shopping centre 5 miles from my house in the snow cos he failed "
"Oh and he keeps 'borrowing' the 'exes' car even though he knows I HATE IT and refuse to get in it."
"He can not talk to me on the phone if someone is around him"
"My ex lives with various 'mates' but I'm not allowed to know where,"
Please explain how any of this is down to you? Are you sure his ex is really his ex?
None of this is your fault Cosmic, none of it and whilst there is his side of the story to consider as well, just those 3 sentences would have me running a mile, or 5, in the opposite direction very glad I'm out of it
You may never get closure on this relationship but for me, I'd say you already have the place to very much lay the blame - HIS lap
" I walked to a shopping centre 5 miles from my house in the snow cos he failed "
"Oh and he keeps 'borrowing' the 'exes' car even though he knows I HATE IT and refuse to get in it."
"He can not talk to me on the phone if someone is around him"
"My ex lives with various 'mates' but I'm not allowed to know where,"
Please explain how any of this is down to you? Are you sure his ex is really his ex?
None of this is your fault Cosmic, none of it and whilst there is his side of the story to consider as well, just those 3 sentences would have me running a mile, or 5, in the opposite direction very glad I'm out of it
You may never get closure on this relationship but for me, I'd say you already have the place to very much lay the blame - HIS lap
cosmic, I agree with oj - move on. He sounds like the sort of guy who gets a kick out of letting you down, somehow proving to himself how much you depend on him. You don't - he's playing a stupid game and it sounds as if his ex is far from being his ex, there is much more going on on his side of the fence. Be strong, be resolute, cut the ties. Tell him you've had enough - be strong, be resolute, don't contact him after that and don't answer his calls. Some guys (sorry to the nice AB guys) get a kick out of making women feel small and as if it's all their fault (and I speak from experience) - this is rubbish, you can do much better than this.
Keep coming on here - we can be here for you if you need us.
Keep coming on here - we can be here for you if you need us.