AB - what to post ... ?

[sunny-dave]

A (very polite, not moaning) reply to one of my ‘wine threads’ last night has given me a little pause for thought.

Is it appropriate to be posting about wine, holidays, restaurants, techie toys, exotic food etc, when there are many people using AB for whom the idea of such things is just impossible - because of time constraints, ill health and/or financial circumstances?

My own income is relatively modest these days, but I salted some savings away during the good years and also paid off the mortgage on my house – I suppose you’d categorise me as ‘comfortable’. I also took a decision a while ago to take a considerable drop in income by moving out of IT into the charity/health sector and also moving to part time working – all about the balance between income and ‘quality of life’. Perhaps even the luxury of being able to take that decision is one that many people can’t aspire to?

So – given that I have the health, time and a little money to indulge my interests and hobbies – should I feel a slight twinge of guilt when posting, in case it is not what people in less fortunate circumstances want to see?

A genuine question – I’m interested in what others think, because I’m not sure I even know what my own answer is … I’d be mortified if I was thought to be ‘flaunting it’ in a loadsamoney style, but where is the line drawn?

dave xx

[Bluestone]

Good thread.
I think it's nice that you've thought of this, and the other posters on AB, but I don't think you can be constantly worrying about what you post and if it's going to upset or offend people.
I do get a bit gutted sometimes if I read a thread about, for example, someone going on a fantastic holiday, but I just don't read it any further. It's my problem I feel like that, and not anything the poster has said.

[ummmm]

No. We can't take everyone's circumstances into consideration everytime we post.

Maybe, when you post about a wine that is on the expensive side look for a budget alternative.

I also think the posts come down to wording or how you come across. Some people sound pompous and snobby whereas others come across as informative :-)

[Bluestone]

Apologies for the way I wrote that post. It made better sense in my head, but doesn't read very well. I know what I meant, and hopefully you will too :-)
I'm not quite with it today... :-/

[Bluestone]

Actually, what Ummmm said is very true. I saw someone post something like "I wouldn't drink that rubbish if you paid me", in reference to a cheap brand of a drink, once. I think *that* is really rude and definitely offensive.

[snags]

''should I feel a slight twinge of guilt when posting''

No: you post from your own experiences and points of view and shouldn't kerb them 'in case' you offend others.

[tonyav]

Good moaning dave, There is no problem with how you live your life, it is your choice and a good one at that you have worked hard to be able to live as you do.

[rockyracoon]

Dave, there can be no line in my opinion, life is such that there will always be 'haves and have nots', the site would become quite boring, people wouldn't ask for recommendations about hotels in Cape Town as some people couldn't afford Southend for a weekend, what about a nice BMW, some people can't afford a car. The best one I had on another forum was when I was discussing my kids behaviour with other mums, we were admonished by someone who felt we shouldn't moan as she couldn't have kids.

[China Doll]

No, it's *** to worry about everyone elses circumstances all the time. People spend their money on what they need or want to spend it on. It's nice to hear what other people are up to or share recommendations on things, and if people are bitter about what others have in life then that is their problem. I'm not well of but I'm ok, if other people are doing better than me financially then good for them, s'nothing to do with me or the choices I made. It actually really bugs me when people compare their life or lifestyle to someone else and make judgements or voice resentment because they're bitter about where they are, I don't understand why you can't just be pleased for someone and/or recognise that if you feel bitter or resentful, then it's your problem and not the other persons. Tell them to sling their hook. :c)

[flump1]

Hi Sunny Dave, I for one enjoy reading through your posts and you are a thoughtful and considerate member. Long may you continue.

[Sqad]

Never ....ever....give it a thought.

I post, based on my experiences and some people may think that i am a "snob".....good!....cus I am.

In the UK we tend to strive for mediocrity and are embarrassed about success and wealth.

No dave....I never give them a thought and continue to sleep well at night.

[ummmm]

I have never met anyone embarrassed about success.

[redman41]

Hi sunny-dave, hope you are well !?
It is unfortunate that some people struggle financially for various reasons but life has to go on regardless.
I have struggled financially myself in the past due to Job redundancies, but after the dark clouds have passed sunnier times come along.
Carry on Posting S-Dave as this site thrives on all sorts of info set out in all the different Categories available to everyone.
Useful tips and information is useful to everyone, even to the 'poorest' amongst us.
I love posting about good Beer when I come across interesting Pub Ales.
Food and Drink section is useful to me and many others.
Carry on dave....onwards and upwards
All the best
redman41

[Kiki-frog]

I've not been using AB for very long compared with most people here, but for me one of its great appeals is the variety of people who post. Of course there are differences in background, finance, education, interests, age - but that's a great strength IMO. There are probably people who are not as well off as you, and probably others who are much richer - that's life.

There are many posts I don't read or reply to because I don't think the subject will appeal to me or because I don't have an opinion on the subject. I'm sure its the same for most ABers. No one is forced to read your posts, Dave, and if you post something that you feel is of interest and other people read it and engage in dialogue with you, surely that's how it should be. If anyone complains, whose problem is that - yours or theirs? I think the latter.

[LoftyLottie]

I think it's fine to post about most things, but some people come across as 'bragging' and then It is them I feel sorry for, not other ABers. If you have to brag about your life style then it is you that is the loser. ABers are generally not daft - they catch on quite quickly and usually retort in humerous ways which those who brag don't pick up on and still continue 'showing off'.

[sunny-dave]

Thanks for your replies - just to emphasise that the reply which prompted this thread was in no way bitter/resentful and certainly wasn't having a pop at me. Just made me stop & think for a moment.

[Baldric]

SD, don't see it as a problem, as you say it wasn't a moan but an honest contribution to the thread. You've worked hard to be where you are, you enjoy it, but as far as I can see you don't flaunt it.

[China Doll]

Well it wasn't polite either in my opinion dave, and I think unnecessary.

[pizza]

Dave we are on here because it is an A/Z of all areas in life.
It's a fun and informative site about a lot of things.
We all have hobbies and interests and it's a thoughtful person like yourself thinking about how your post may seem to others, you are the sort of person that is a credit to the site.
You can't be responsible for how other peoples lives/circumstances are.
Enjoy your wines Dave and enjoy your quality of life ,lifes too short x

[snags]

Dave. To add to my previous post: the content of your threads/posts never offends me: what I do find sickening is your permanently 'sunny' disposition. No one from the British Isles should be this happy. You are either ever so slightly insane or a simpleton and from now on I shall be countering your joyous posts with my own miserable writings to maintain a balance.

[AlwaysConfused]

At work, the majority of us earn the same money. When I go on holidays , people say 'how can you afford that? I can just about afford a roof over our head'. It's down to our own budgeting. We choose to live in a smaller place, walk to work instead of drive and make cut backs that others wouldn't think about. We eat good meals and use quality meat, and glug some good wine down with it! We holiday every year, which is what i look forward to, and ultimately put in the hours at work for our beer tokens and spending money. I don't have loadsa money, s'pose thats what makes me determined that I spend it on the things that I want the most.

Post what you want to post, if people are jealous then it means they are not leading or managing their lives as they foresee they would.

However, a post such as 'on my boat, caviar in one hand, champers in the other, can't figure out how to use my gold plated compass to get to my private beach/island, can anyone help?' may come across a little arrogant!