A Mate In A State...

[Bbbananas]

A friend (honestly!!) has recently found out her husband received emails on a daily+ basis from porn sites - girls offering hot s*x, sp@nking, threesomes, no-holds barred, an@l, no-strings you name it.
These are both in his junk and trash folders. She is convinced he must have subscribed to these sites or visits them regularly for them to have his details.
I have told her its just spam and does not necessarily watch porn or liaise with these women. She says none of the messages have actually been opened.

Thoughts please? I'm no internet expert, but I don't want this man booted out if the poor guy is just being bombarded with spam. (He does have his very obviously male christisn name as part of his email address)

(No jokes please that this is my partner - if it was, I would say. And wouldn't be overly concerned - not to the point that my mate is anyway).

[Bbbananas]

A few typos there, sorry. Hands are freezing cos boiler's on the blink...

[andy-hughes]

I think the majority of men who access pornography on a computer which their wife uses, will be careful to cover their tracks, and monitor their mails and browsing history very carefully.

The fact that these messages are effectively in 'plain sight' with no attempts either to open or respond to them does tend to infer that they are simply random spam, and this gentleman has no interest in pursuing the lurid offers he is receiving.

I would suggest that his wife finds a subtle way of letting him know that she has seen the material, and he should take steps to get it stopped.

If she is savvy enough, and has his contact info, she could always block the mails herself - he will probably think the spam has stopped because of lack of response, and things can return to normal.

Hope this helps.

[Ninefingers]

Chances are it's unwanted spam, despite everything the internet and email providers do, much of the trash still gets through, you don't have to subscribe to a site to get the rubbish.
Get her to check his internet history, you'll see anything that's been visited.

[Toorak]

They are spam - I get them regularly via my work e-mail address and most go directly into my spam folder. Have never opened them but they keep on arriving...

[Baldric]

I probably receive 10 -12 emails a week offering all sorts on dubious delights on my main email account, most are regular posters who are 'blocked' so go straight to Spam Folder unopened anyway.
I often say to Mrs B something along the lines of "See, I've still got it!"
She then laughs for the rest of the day :o(

[anneasquith]

I often get emails to purchase Viagra , hot Russian brides, NB. I have not subscribed to these sites .

[Jackdaw33]

Your friend's husband is by no means alone. I get these regularly as no doubt do countless others.

[Bbbananas]

Funnily enough Ann, i get the Russian brides, viagra, testosterone etc (maybe its the bananas bit in my email address that entices such offers?!!)

I would have thought any man in a couple woud use private browsing- but apparently that doesnt hide your email address from hackers, spammers etc. And as far as i know, there is no way of accessing any private browsing history.
As far as unsubscribing goes, i looked for her this morning and this could actually encourage more spam, as by clicking on 'unsubscribe' it is a sign the email address is active. Best to ignore i would have thought.

[Jackdaw33]

Correct. Ignore and click on nothing.

[Baldric]

If you 'Block' rather than 'Unsubscribe' they go straight to Spam Folder unopened, and it tells the sender nothing

[Bbbananas]

I do have one question though, as much for myself as L****. Personal individual Internet browsing must be obvious to advertisers etc because even today for example is an ad for a site i myself visited via safari 2 days ago. Which has never popped up before; I'd never even heard of it before. I take a look at Hotels on booking.com on google one day - the next day all my ads are holiday & hotel related.
Which makes me think this guy must at least browse porn (or similarly 'racy') sites to be bombarded with these posts daily?

Or is it a case of look once, even say 4 years ago, and they keep spamming you forever ?

[Ninefingers]

Your adverts come up like that due to adbots, it's not the same as email recognition and bombarding you with email like that

[Sqad]

If ...if they are spam, that means, in my humble opinion, that he has investigated a dodgy, by dodgy I mean sex, websites.
Most men do and most men (all men) do it without telling their wives or indeed AB.
So what?
Is she going to threaten or jeopardise her marriage on the basis that her "man" is doing "manly " things ?

Spam? LOL ..LOL LOL....yeah right.
Hi! salla I miss you, AB isn't the same.

[Jackdaw33]

Email and ads are different things.

[Bbbananas]

This particular lady, not a woman of the real world bless her, probably would. yes. To be honest, i think she could just about cope with the idea of him looking at a sex website every now & then - what she can't (or couldn't if it were true) cope with is the thought that he had maybe taken things a step further than just browsing/ watching.
If he had had personal contact with any of these 'girls', he should start running. Quick. If he wants to kerp his testicles ...

[anneasquith]

I've never ever opened a site offering Russian brides, doesn't stop the emails popping up .

[andy-hughes]

I must be leading a blameless life then!

I receive no Viagra ads, or invitations to join ladies of dubious virtue in vigourous exercise outwith my bedroom.

Either I am doing something right (or wrong!), or I don't have a wide enough search history on the internet, or my protection software is something the White House would envy!!!

[Sqad]

\\\\\If he had had personal contact with any of these 'girls', he should start running. Quick. If he wants to kerp his testicles ..\\\\

How will she find out?
He isn't going to own up and the sex provider certainly isn't.

[Mamyalynne]

If Sqad is right it's no wonder I'm exhausted.

[jim360]

There's probably nothing to it -- either just spam that he'd get anyway, or a little light relief now and then leading to him getting more attention from spam than he usually would. Depends on the couple but a little openness wouldn't hurt, I'd have thought.