Why does my mum act in this strange way? why won't she go out/meet anyone?

[Willow22]

I need some advice. I am a teenager and my mother behaves in a very strange/unusual way and I need to understamd why. Can anyone help? my mum hardly ever goes out of the house...apart from when she occasionally goes shopping..but even then it's ussually almost always to the same place. Also she goes for walks to the forest..but she always chooses to go purposefully when their are hardly any people and says that she hates it when there are lots of people about (she looks irritated/slightly annoyed when she says this) also she doesn't really have any friends to be honest and ahe doesn't go many places. Also when other people come around to the house, for example if someone is delivering a parcel she will put on a sort of false, bright, polite act and it's not how she normally is at all. Also...she never answers the telephone. my dad aways has to and I have never really known her to phone anyone other than her relatives and a few others. She also never really takes me out anywhere or teaches me about the world. she hardly seems to know how to raise me/what to say to me and she is quite cold at times.Why does she hbaheve like this? please can anyone tell me ?? it's just that it is starting to effect me
e.g. I lack people skills..never get taken out anywhere/taught anything.
It would really help me if I could understand why she behaves like this

[chitchat]

It sounds like she has a phobia of people and going out. I dont have any answers though - sorry I wish could be of more help. Unfortuately you cant solve the problem for her - only she can do that once she accepts that she has a problem, and thats the hard part. I am sure that there will be a website that will give you more information. Good luck with it.

[RATTER15]

Willow is this just another of your attention seeking stories? How old are you this time, 13, 15, 18 it seems to change every time doesn't it. about time you got a life!!

[ummmm]

Maybe she's happy staying in

[ummmm]

Ratter....Do you think this is a wind up?

[curiosity]

If this is a wind up, I think you are sick, however if it is a cry for help, then if you are in the UK I can direct you to services that will help you, if you are in USA I don't knoe whats availabel or free apart from your teachers.

[RATTER15]

Yes it is a wind up, seen her sob stories before, she has a different age every time she comes on her. Bit of an attention seeking drama queen.

[caz247]

I agree with ratter
she has aged two years within two weeks of posting a thread from 16 to 18 yr old
what a sad person

caz x

[Willow22]

this is NOT a wind up. please stop judging me...it isn't fair. yu lot must have been school bullies. You purposefully seem to ENJOy being horrible to me. no doubt you will think up some horrible smart retort back. I need help. obviously this is the wrong place to get it. I'm ashamed of the way you're behaving towards me. How old are YOU. .... you ought to know better and grow up. i need help and advice..not a personal bully.

[helliebobs]

Willow, the fact that you have posted on AB over the last few months with your age varying from 16 to 18 doesn't exactly make people want to take you seriously. And posting the same question in different variations doesn't do you any favours either.

[redcrx]

willow,
Is your mum ill at all?

[Willow22]

Yes...but I am reffering to the time before that.... about a year ago... I NEED to understand WHY .....I just need to understand why she was like this....it may even have contributed to her illness. it's effecting me, her, my sister......the fact that she wouldn't go anywhere/meet anyone. She was abused in childhood...but how does that explain why she wouldn't meet anyone at all/answer a telephone?

[redcrx]

do you not think that with her having a terminal illness that really you should be worrying about what your mum did a year ago and that you should concentrate on helping her now? She may need to get away at times and walking around the woods may help her.
Teaching you life skills may be the last thing she is concerned with at the moment.

[BBWCHATT]

Curiosity - if she is here in the USA - we have a counselor in every school - she would be free to stop in to talk to them at any time - they would refer her to the proper place to get the help she needs. We also have "Big Brothers Big Sisters", which is a very reputable mentoring program for children who need someone to take them places and spend time with them.

This is a website that might explain some of her Mother's problems - like agoraphobia:

http://www.phobics-society.org.uk/info_agoraph obia.shtml

[loukr]

did your sister fail her gcses and miss out on school? i'm guessing she also lost her grandmother and her mothers ill too and i does her father abuses her? maybe you should both offer to take your mother out for a surprise.. or do you not have any money now?

[welshfox]

Take it from someone who has experience of agoraphobia - your mum must feel isolated enough without having to worry how it affects you too. It sounds harsh but I think your mum really needs time to focus on herself and maybe by walking alone, she has the chance to do that. She needs to heal and figure out what she wants and how to achieve it, and only she can do that.
We all have crosses to bear and I think you're being selfish by saying its her fault that you have no people skills because she doesnt take you out-ask your dad or another relative if you can go out with them when they go. If your mums as bad as you say, they must have noticed and will want to know how to help her.
If you go to school, you must be talking to people there, and there are teachers, school counsellors you can speak to.
Agoraphobia and other similar disorders are extremely scary and dibilitating for the people they affect, and all too often people, especially family members, dismiss the fact that theres anything wrong with them and just ignore the person whos suffering, solely due to ignorance and lack of information about whats wrong with their loved one - not always their fault although information is getting more widely available these days.
Your mum needs your support. Maybe by doing that you would develop a lot more people skills that going out to the shops with her would ever give you.
This world is about give and take - please learn to do both for the benefit of everyone

[ummmm]

She doesn't go to school......she's 16 17 & 18.....is in love with a boy called Ian but she calls him skye.....but she hasn't seen him since she was 11 and didn't even go out with him in the first place.....her dad abuses her......he mum is terminally ill.......she wants to know how to fix her education because she wagged school for 4 years.....and is thinking of moving to a hostel in Wales in case she bumps into skye again and he realises that she's a think lazy twit!

Did I miss anything?

Oh yea......her mum is agoraphobic

And she has major issues with posting!

But keep the sympathy coming

[welshfox]

Well, if all that's true you really are a sad little person who doesn't deserve anything. Life really is as tough as you 'say' your mums is for some people, but obviously for narrow minded attention seekers like you, that doesnt matter.

You really have made me question any faith i had left in the human race. Like I say, if it's true that you are lying and making it all up, you shouldve been drowned at birth and that way, people like myself and the other people on here who genuinely wanted to help a genuine person, wouldnt have wasted our time and energy on such a waste of space like you.

I hope you get what you deserve.

Thanks ummmm for opening my eyes, and apologies if this is a genuine question but shame on you if it isn't, and you're right willow - you do need help.
Anyone up for a killing spree now? God, I'm bloody annoyed!

[ummmm]

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Jobs-and-Educat ion/Question320273.html

[Willow22]

look stop it. i'm NOT making this up. will you just stop it.I call him skye as i don't want toreveal his identity and i say I'm 16, 17, and 18 as i'm trying to do some calculations as to what i should ahve done at different points in my life. WHY exactly would I make all this up. That''s sick. I don't think ANYONE would findd this particularly entertaining and if they did then they're a very sad person. I am not that person no matter whetehr you chose to eliev me or not. I am sick of all this. fine, don't help me me then. i am having the WORST life that anyone could possibly have any you actually stand there and make commets which make me feel physically sick. I've BEEN THROUGH HELL.
my life's AWFUL.
well....at least god knows the truth, prbably the only one who does. all I've ever done wrong is to e frightened...but hey.. i guess i'll be punished for that as well.
I wish I could prove to you that I'm not lying...but how can I ? all i have are words...........
i feel SO SO ILL and SO SO FRIGHTENED. I cannot believ tis is even happening. things are SO BAD that you will not even believe, choose to believe even that i am making it up...because it all sounds so far-fetched..have you ANY idea what that feels like. WELL...have you...have you EVER had to g through anything which even comes close to ehat I've been experiencing. it's obvious you would abandon a person in their most darkest and most desperate hour of need. I'm ashamed of you honestly. I am NOT a liar or a fake and ow dare you call me so. i should NOT have to keep saying thos OVER and OVER again. nor posting an answt t my own quesion to defend myself. well I hope your happy...or find this amusing...because i DON'T. i am FRIGHTENED and seriosly pnicking. are you honestly telling me that if you were in my situation that you would not post questions if it got you out of the situation?? please take a good, long hard think about that...................
and STOP calling me