THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION

[wildwood]

SKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other
-- that is, until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
empty, and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.


WHO SAID POETRY IS BORING?

[starone]

Lovely. Wish I was clever enough to write them.

[rowanwitch]

I long to touch your precious cheek
With a baseball bat you ugly freak....

I dream of you when nights are long
On every level that's oh so wrong

Your eyes are pools of azure blue
Your contacts really don't suit you

I know this love will never pass
But god you've got a spotty ar5e

You hold me in your arms I shiver
With horror your lips are like lumps of liver

I dreampt of you for many years
The foul fulfilment of my fears

[starone]

You see, even more, rowan. And my mind is a complete blank. At least I enjoy what others have written.

[marval]

I love both lots

[missprim]

Oh I know I shouldn't laugh but this is funny.

[grasscarp]

Your teeth are like stars, so shining and bright
and just like the stars - they come out at night

[maggiebee]

Love them all - useless at this sort of thing