As Promised To Shoota

[gness]

THE TALE OF THE ADVANCED DRIVER

One evening the AD was going to church. (I looked for God for a while) She was driving her MG Magnette and called into the little garage nearby for petrol.
Now, the MG was old but new to the AD and she hadn`t noticed that the wrap around bumper things...those chrome efforts...were a bit further from the sides of the car than they should be.
AD paid the man in the little cubby hole, jumped in the car and went.... nowhere. Something was holding the car back. Harder on the accelerator. That was when she saw the petrol pump moving. AD was driving off with the pump hose inside the bumper. Quick reverse,haul out hose and garble an explanation to cubby man and off.
Return by the same route was halted at the sight of fire engines, police cars, the odd ambulance and dozens of people watching from a distance. The road was closed. Hmmmm unusual.
AD asked the policeman who was diverting traffic if there was a problem.
"Some stupid woman drove off with the pump," he growled. "Massive petrol leak, homes evacuated!" "Oh dear." said AD.
AD watched for some time thinking...every cloud. Evacuees were being brought trays of tea and the pub up the road was doing a roaring trade. People who would have been safely in their own homes were out in the street chatting and making new friends. How nice, thought AD as she diverted home before cubby hole man spotted her.
AD found a new petrol station.
Next morning,in a nearby town,AD decided to use one of those new fangled car washes. It was long ago.
Very noisy thought AD as the brushes swirled by her window. Gosh,she thought again (quite a thinker, this lass) as the noise began to sound like the TARDIS taking off, taking a long time to do the back. And suddenly it went quiet, deathly quiet in the soap covered car....until....the arrival of the angry car wash man.
Guessed yet? Car wash brush was stuck between bumper and car.Oops, big oops.
AD has little recollection of the car wash man dragging her out of the car, removing it from his brushes and throwing the keys at her. She does recall, however,his second burst of anger when, covered in soap as was her car, he decided to chase her down the road shouting, "I`ll have you banned from every car wash in the world!" Tad excessive don`t you think?
And that is how Gness, the Advanced Driver, wrecked a petrol station and a car wash in the space of 24 hours in a stationary car.

[shoota]

OK........................

[shoota]

But I'm sure all those involved were enriched by the experience. :-)

[gness]

Morning Shoota. x

[shoota]

Hi Gal - what do you drive now?

[gness]

I`m sure they were,Shoota. Not financially though.

[gness]

Honda Civic. 1.6. OH bought it for me because he found the 2L Rover a bit fast when I drove. Next car will have a bigger engine.

[sunny-dave]

.... errrrr .... has your luck improved??


My dad had a Morris Oxford (the less sporty version of the Magnette I think).

Because the front seat was (effectively) a bench, the hand brake was tucked between the driver's seat and the door - and frighteningly easy to release by accident when getting out of the car ... the rest, dear reader, is history (as indeed were the bumper and the garage door it rolled forcefully into).

So my dad always parked the car in gear after that ... but my mum never remembered ... oh dearie me :+)

[shoota]

http://www.google.co....d=0CFsQ9QEwAw&dur=101

[sunny-dave]

http://upload.wikimed...tte_Mk_IV_ca_1966.jpg

[shoota]

I had a maroon cambridge that shape Dave, bought for £50, 4 new tyres, recon rad, drove it for years and sold it for £50 to a milkman who cut the back of it and used it for a delivery vehicle.
Crackin motor!

[gness]

Morning Dave. Errr....a little. Will fill up and clean the car today and see what happens.
I have a sloping drive. Your mum would have had the car in the back garden.
That`s the car Shoota. Loved it but broke down a lot. Often could only be started by hitting the engine with a plastic cricket bat.

[shoota]

Ah the old 'smack the starter motor' trick.
I used to do that with my truncheon and impress the heck out of stranded motorists - back in the days when you could actually see the engine mind you...

[gness]

Well! I bought my Cambridge from a milkman but it had a back. Smelly though. Stale milk. Sold it for £100 for the deposit on my first house.

[flump1]

Gness , brilliant.

[lankeela]

I had a Cambridge estate - lovely motor, longest British car ever made at the time.

[Dee Sa]

thats the type of thing that happens to me !nothing ever seems to be straightforward.

[skybluefred]

Gness,I think you had better try a Sherman Tank next,at least you will be safe.

[gness]

Nothing is straightforward. Got petrol today but the road to the car wash is closed til tomorrow so will have to do it on Thursday.
Has anyone else noticed that brakes don`t always work after a car wash?
Don`t know about a tank but I am booking up for a blindfold driving session with my adventure club.

[tonyav]

gness, always pump the brakes after you come out of the car wash, before you drive away !

[gness]

Hi Tony. You well? Will do thank you. Perhaps another post it note on dash. Don`t think I use the brakes til I`m on the A14 slip road. x