Friends Being Strange

[Skids]

Ok so me and my husband had a couple who we did everything with! We even went in holiday together with our little families! Recently we went to Disney Paris and had a great time! When we came back our friends started being a bit distant and we realised that they were getting on really well with their neighbours so we decided to leave them for a bit to get to know them! We decided we were going to set up a couple of our mutual friends on a date and went out clubbing with them. On the Sunday we had a message on Facebook saying where was our invite from our friends. We didn't think anything of it but I think we upset them. Recently my best friends sister had a baby early and it's dying so I've been messaging her with love and support and hoping everything was ok but not getting a response. She phoned me on fri asking if we could have her 3 children for the wkend so they could go and be with her sister. We have 2 children of our own and had plans all wkend however we said we could have them all day sat and could drop them off to whoever could take over but as we had plans we couldn't have them to stay over! The next day my husbands mate deleted us both off of Facebook and is not responding to any messages! What have we done wrong I don't understand. Can anyone help? I feel really upset and so is my hubby!

[ummmm]

If her sister has a very poorly prem baby they might be reacting because emotions are high. When emotions are high not everyone acts completely rationally.

[Sqad]

Too complicated a story for me.

[ClaryS]

skids you want an honest opinion? I think you were a bit selfish not to take your friends children in such tragic circumstances. Most 'plans' can be shelved in emergencies. Forget stupid Face Book and give your friend a call.

[Mamyalynne]

I agree with Ummmm, tensions are running high at the moment and sometimes people have very great expectations from their friends and don't take kindly to what they see as a let down.

I would still offer support and care if from a distance and gently, then wait to see how things pan out.

[Canary42]

What an abomination Facebook is - it seems to cause nothing but heartache.

[Canary42]

… or is it just the way some people use it ?

[Old_Geezer]

Sounds like "a storm in a teacup" to me. Even friends may not be able to comply with every request; so I'd suspect the "high emotions" suggestion has a lot going for it. You could ask what is up if you wish, but be prepared to bite your tongue if they unfairly accuse you of not being there for them, or acting as you should. I'd suspect/hope it'd blow over in time.

[ClaryS]

Canary42 I totally agree its like a grown up version of the School Yard. perfectly sane people 'friending' people they would pass in the street and not know and 'unfriending' . Sometimes I wonder what un-hinged people did before FB

[Skids]

We have tried calling but get no answer! If we could have changed our plans we would have but it's not always that easy especially at short notice! I don't think we were selfish at all as we did offer our help and have done ever since we heard about it! They have family they could have asked aswel.

[Sqad]

\\\\Recently we went to Disney Paris and had a great time! When we came back our friends started being a bit distant \\\

Quickest way to lose friends is to go on holiday with them.
They are fed up with your company and prefer the company of their neighbours.

It happens.

[ClaryS]

Skids maybe they wanted their children away from all the emotion? Are you prepared to say what your plans were that couldn't be changed? It may give some perspective on the situation, which I'm sure is fuelled by the fact you didn't invite them to your clubbing date, and the very strong emotions circulating at the moment regarding the sick baby.

[Baldric]

It's never good to live in each others pockets,
perhaps you all need to broaden your horizons a little.

[Skids]

I find it all very silly and very playground especially with the whole Facebook thing but if they aren't responding to us we can't really ask what's wrong and also wonder whether we should bother if it's all so childish! But we do live then to bits and don't want to give up and want to be there for them! I don't know what the answer is

[Mamyalynne]

Forget the Facebook issue, now is the time for pen and paper and tell them what you just told us.

" We love you to bits and if in some way we have let you down, please tell us how to make amends"

or words to that effect.

It seems you want this resolving and in my opinion a letter is preferable any day to an electronic message.

[society]

Time is a wonderful healer of most things.

[B00]

Just leave them, you've let them know you're there if you're needed. There's nothing else you can do.

They might seek you out once they've wrapped their heads around what's going on in their lives, they may not. Crap happens i'm afraid.

[Sqad]

BOO....LOL...correct.

[cazzz1975]

I agree with ummm and boo, this isnt the time to get into lengthy debate over what he said or she said, with their current emotions you or they are likely to say something that will be regretted, they are going through a stressful time, give them some breathing room for a while.

[ClaryS]

Boo the whole point was they weren't there when they were needed. I can see it from the other side to be honest. If I was devastated because my sisters baby was dying, and good friends couldn't put their plans on hold to look after my children, then I'm afraid they would no longer be my friends. I don't know what the plans were that they couldn't cancel but presume it wasn't a paid for holiday or anything like that.

[Sqad]

Well, my opinion........resorting to pen and paper (we love you to bits) is ,grovelling.............