Should I Forgive The Father Of My Child Who Cheated On Me?

[Natalieb798]

Me and my bofriend have been together for almost 3 years and we have a daughter together. Well I just found out that he cheated on me like 2 years ago with a girl that he told me he's never been with. I've also caught him not to long ago messaging girls on a dating website asking for pictures. I don't know if I should leave him or not. I do love him but I'm not the type of person to stay with someone that has cheated. What should I do?

[Tilly2]

You say...'I'm not the type of person to stay with someone that has cheated.'

So you need to leave.

[ummmm]

He cheated and he's on dating websites...

If he's on dating websites then surely he's looking for someone else to cheat with.

I'd leave. He can't be trusted.

[woofgang]

oh you know the answer.....

[jno]

you've put the answer in the second-to-last sentence. Are you hoping people will tell you to go, or to stay?

Personally, I'd be weighing the good against the bad (is he a good father?); but cheating on you weighs heavily on the bad side.

[Baldric]

I think you have answered your own question.
Good Luck.

[bookbinder]

He's done it once, he'll do it again. A leopard doesn't change its spots.

[Trixabelle21]

Drop the zero and find yourself a hero, there are still many good honest men out there who would not cheat or risk visitation rights to see their kids.

[Sqad]

So, you are looking for someone who will never cheat on you.........he doesn't exist. Given the right set of circumstances, you would cheat on him too.....most women would.
It's your call.

[ummmm]

^^^Bull.

[jackthehat]

sqad has a very jaundiced view of relationships.
He extrapolates his experiences onto the wider world and makes false assumption so it's probably best to discount any 'advice' he offers on matters of the heart.

You fella is giving you pause for thought with his behaviour and doing this whilst you have a small child does not bode well for the future.

Get out whilst you have the strength...

[MallyJ]

He has treated you extremely badly. He has lied to you and been with someone else and is now (one would imagine) setting himself up with other women. You have a daughter...what do you want her to learn about relationships? I would imagine you would like her to learn that people have to treat each other with respect and that no one deserves to be cheated on or lied to......or in anyway to be treated badly. This you teach her by not allowing yourself to be treated badly.. I think you know what to do.....hard though it may be. Good luck

[ummmm]

Bernie - no one said that but this comment is bull..

" Given the right set of circumstances, you would cheat on him too.....most women would"

Simply not true!

[Sqad]

ummmm....you have your opinion based on your experiences and i have my opinion, based on my experiences, but neither of us know the truth.
Whatever i think of your opinion, I would not openly report it as "BULL" as i consider that rude and vulgar.

[EcclesCake]

Sqad, I cannot recall a time when another poster has supported you when you give your views on infidelity.

Does that not give you an indication of how socially unacceptable others consider it?

[ummmm]

Sqad...ok..you're talking rubbish, absolute nonsense. Is that better?

[Sqad]

Eccles....LOL......I don't understand your post.

" I cannot recall a time when another poster has supported you when you give your views on infidelity. "

Yes it has been supported in previous posts, but cannot bring the details to mind and even if I had NO support, whether it supports the view that it is unacceptable is not the point.........we all know it is unacceptable, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Nobody knows with certainly, the incidence of female/male infidelity do they?

[Islay]

You have answered your own question!
Sqad, there are many out there that take their marriage vows seriously!

[Sqad]

ummmm.....although it leaves me cold..........much better.

[Old_Geezer]

Forgiveness is for oneself, not for the benefit of the one you feel has wronged you. But that's not really what you are asking is it. You want someone to make the decision for you whether to continue in the relationship or not. Or perhaps even nearer the truth, someone to confirm the decision you want to make but don't have the confidence to do so by yourself.

Only you can decide what is right for you. Other folk in your position choose one option, others the other. Ignore what you have always said you'd do. What do you feel is right for you now ?

For sure you need a good heart to heart talk with him. His indiscretion was two years ago, but what is the present situation ? Also, will you be able to trust again at some point or not ?

Mull it over and decide how you feel. If unsure then toss a coin for a decision, then note whether you're ok going with it, or wish to make it 2 out of 3.

Good luck.