Television Bloopers

[Rondy]

UKTV BLOOPERS



Here's what some UK TV presenters and commentators have said over the years. . . . . .



Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."



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Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

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Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:

"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

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Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Derek Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

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Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

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Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."

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'Winning Post's' Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."



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Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practicing fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."



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Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tire choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."

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James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

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Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."

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The new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath away."My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."

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Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said :"You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

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US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"

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A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did he have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard

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Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."

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Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing

[Patsy33]

OO-er Missus!... lol...

[tamaris]

Very good

[tiggerblue10]

Double entrendres can be quite cringy when trying to be serious, lol

[Canary42]

Brilliant - love the tale of 8"

[Ken4155]

The last one is a gem :-))
One that i remember was a football commentator commentating on a very fast black winger skinning the opposition defence before crossing the ball for a headed goal; "He just opened his legs and showed everyone what he's got."

[burlyshirley]

OMG I can't see for tears. Best laugh I've had in ages. Love the one about the chap who has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees !!! Brilliant ...

[Hopkirk]

If you like a double entendre, I'll give you one.

[brian j john]

Brian Johnson cricket commentator once said while commenting on England v W Indies
It's not a joke. It was said on commentary when the west Indian bowler Micheal holding was bowling to English batsman Peter Willey.

The commentator said 'The bowlers Holding, the batsmans Willey'.

[Canary42]

Not actually a blooper per se , but as amusing.

[clyde59]

LOL