Work Colleague....

[Hedkandi]

Hi all,

Basically I work with this woman in my office and we're pretty good mates, but she keeps talking about her sex life, and now its almost like I'm getting daily reports about it.

She keeps mentioning how good the sex is with her current bloke, and i'm finding it a bit odd how she keeps bringing it up all the time, and how she'll just drop it into the conversation on a daily basis.

I don't mind people talking about their sex lives, but banging on about it on a daily basis is a bit much for me!

What do you think she's trying to gain from this? Am I supposed to be impressed??

Any advice greatly appreciated.

Many thanks,

Hedkandi x

[lia*]

tell her you have enough sex going on in your life and she needs to cool down a little. ask her why she feels the need to share this with you on a daily basis, and tell her she does not have to report to you all these details. it embarasses you sometimes.

[Minxie]

Hedkandi, people who brag about their sex lives, probably dont have one!

[UKbloke04]

must agree with Minxie...people who talk about it most,are the people least likely doing it :)

Thats why i talk about mine all the time ;)

[bobis]

hi, your very lucky all my work mates talk about is performance related bonus and how much they earn, why dont you tape this persons sex talk and play it back to them at some time and if they dont like it send it to me (thats a joke by the way )hope you can sort this out,all the best.

[Scarlett]

I used to know people like this- you lend them an ear once and then they think it's there forever!

You are gonna have to say something. Next time she starts to talk just say- "Hang on- this isn't gonna be about sex AGAIN, is it?" and only allow her to speak if it's not. Either way she will get the message. If she asks why, just say "Why d'you think??!" and sound exasperated. Then say "It would just be nice to talk about something else for a change." She may be miffed but she will know you are right.

[andy-hughes]

The previous responses all offer sound advice.

As to the reason why your colleague does this - it's simple insecurity. Her tyelling you means she can hear herself telling you, and she can reassure herself that she is attractive to her partner, and inspires such wonderful attention from him. In reality, she is unsure about her own worth as an individual, and this constant reassurance is her way of dealing with it.

You could be blunt, as the others have suggested. If you don't mind taking a little time, and being a little kinder in the process, why not simply act as if she hasn't spoken when ever sex is mentioned. Respond with something that does not acknolwledge that she just spoke about anything, and her conversation can go nowhere. She will eventually realise what is happening, and why, and the issue will be resolved, hopefully without any confrontation, which may damager her already low self-esteem. If this method doesn't work, revert to the more forthright suggestions already offered.

[dot.hawkes]

plus, if this happened at my work it would be construed as gross misconduct and the person would probably be dismissed. It did happen, i had to sack the guy! trust me it is not allowed.

[amiak]

hedkandi, guess ur ears must be horny now :)- Lol!!!

it could be that she wants you to see how "good" she is in bed. flaunting her sexual prowess could be her way of getting you interested and hence doing it with her.

no offence pls., just my thought.