Two Veg.

maggiebee | 10:08 Tue 19th Jan 2016 | Jokes

52 Answers

We don't have any vegetable jokes on here

So if you know one, lettuce know
We need to get to the root of the matter............

Thick?

Ouch!!!

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cupid04

Q] What is small, red and whispers?

A] A hoarse radish!

Baldric

A woman's vegetable garden is growing like mad, but the darn tomatoes won't ripen. There's a limit to the number of uses for green tomatoes and she's getting pretty tired of it.
So she walks over to her neighbour's and asks, "Your tomatoes are always red, while mine are always green. How do you do it?"
Her neighbour says, "Well, this may sound absurd, but here's what you do. After dark, go out into your garden and take off all your clothes. When the tomatoes see you they'll get embarrassed and blush. Tomorrow they'll all be red, you'll see."
Well, what the heck, she figures. So she does it.
The next day her neighbour asks her how it went.
"So-so," she said, "The tomatoes are still green, but the cucumbers are all 4 inches longer."

marval

What was green and a great trick shooter?
Annie Okra

whiskeryron

is it true that celery is anaemic rhubarb ?

Why is Wales such a wet country ?
Answer, cos there are so many Welshmen taking a leek.

I was going to tell you the tale of the onion but that shallot

marval

A fast plane has just gone over our house
I looked up and said Courgette.