What is having a break?

[I-say]

Hi all........my bf and I had a fall out which lasted about 4 weeks. In the meantime he went off and slept with some woman. Its gutted me, as I had'nt even thought about seeing anyone else.... how can I get over this as its driving me mad

[joko]

was the row about something daft and seemingly out the blue, that he blew up out of proportion?

or did he do something that he knew would make you so furious you would want a break?

either way, i would suggest he met someone and rather than being unfaithful, orchestrated an argument that would involve a break, giving him the opportunity to see this other girl with, in his eyes, impunity.

if this seems to be the case - get rid, he'll do it again

[spk]

Thats a shame I-say its really tough. In my experience you cant really get over that. It takes alot to build up trust and very very little to shatter it. Im sure you feel like you have been betrayed even though you were on a break, that he can be with someone else so quickly. Maybe its time to move on and start fresh. Good luck with whatever you decide to do take care x

[laurence2]

In answer to your question, their is no such thing as a break where it gives you the right to sleep around, if your in a relationship the rules are the same as being married

So would you agree if your boyfriend for arguments sake had a ''BREAK'' 4 times a year and slept with women during these breaks.

My view is if he's done it once i suspect he will do it again, Break or no Break, he dosen't seem to be ready for a relationship and your going to be the one who gets hurt in the long run.

I would think long and hard about this, and the latter part of your question ''Driving me mad'' says it all, its eating away at you, so what are you going to do about it.

Ps, whats his view on how your feeling, my guess is its no big deal and get over it.

Hope you make the right decision

Good luck

[I-say]

Yes joko the row was over something so petty. He couldnt wait to tell me though about this woman, guilt was his reason for telling me. In a way, I wish he had'nt. I dont think he had this woman lined up, but met her quick enough didnt he!

spk, I agree, I really dont think I can get over it. He says he wants to put it behind us, but its in the back of my mind, and I dont want to bring it up as it makes me sound so insecure. But me not mentioning it, doesnt make it go away in my head.

Lawrence, as he made the break, i obviously got the feeling he had had enough. He says after sleeping with this woman, which only lasted a few dates! he realised how much he missed me. If he wanted another break, then we would be over. May be over now, as yes you are right, its eating away at me. He has made no big effort to make things right, but just tells me to forget it.

Thank you all, by the way for answering xx

[*Zeus*]

"We wre on a break" !!!